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Title: I don't like seeing people not progress. Post by: Confused? on December 19, 2015, 05:10:12 PM My exBPD's new relationship is almost over. I did what I can to help without being bias , she knows well she is welcome , we have been getting along real well ,she really appreciate what I have done for her lately , listen ,support ,validate and encourage her without any pressure . I know she is wanting to visit after taking care of things on her end, no romantic talks as of now , she said baby steps , I'm not very okay with that but I am okay with it for now :) How can I word it right by breaking in to her that I am leaving it up to her and want to just go on with my life for now ,and don't want to get involve in her situation , confusion is a toxic thing ,I know well ,as triangeling ... . What should I say not to make feel that I'm not abandoning her and she is welcome when she makes her mind up and reach out to me when ready ... . I am on a solid ground now but this incertitude is starting to take effect on me , I don't want to blow it up . Your advises are welcome and I am also reading about the Karpman drama triangles Guy, i know a 5 year relationship is a long time. But look what you have been doing for the past year. I went back and looked at your posts. Your ex left you and moved to another state to live with two "gay" friends of hers then 4 months later she tells you she is getting married. I don't know if u stated that she moved away for that guy or not I stopped reading any further in your posts. It is not your job to take care of her. I don't know how much you believe what she is telling you but I wouldn't believe a word my ex would say at this point. You have been giving her money when she asks for it and been there to listen to her needs. I'm not going to question why you want to be in a relationship with this person again because that is up to you. I speak to my ex when she contacts me still. I do not want a relationship with her and never will. Even if she went to therapy for ten years while she was single and got better and came back to me I still wouldn't. I understand you love your ex and want to help her. I too love mine and always will. But it was her choice to move into a poor situation. You are probably the best thing that's ever happened to her. You are probably the nicest guy she ever dated. You treated her great. She has made a poor choice and will continue to make poor choices. I don't like seeing people not progress. You have to stop thinking what you can do for her to prove your love. You already did that for 5 years while you two were together. There is no winning for you in this situation. |