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I've been NC with my ex for almost 7 weeks. I've barely seen any updates or photos of her, but today I saw several photographs of her and my replacement. She appears to have gained about 10-15 pounds, and she also does not look happy. Weight gain in itself I suppose doesn't mean much, but this is a girl who prides herself on staying in shape. In fact, only about a month before we broke up she joined a new intensive aerobic program which she fell in love with. She lost close to 10 pounds before we broke up. Her weight has fluctuated during the course of our relationship, but not like this.

Also, this said, she certainly does not look happy. Labored smiles, crossed arms.

I'm not judging her for gaining weight, but it almost feels like there's something beneath the surface. Am I reading too much into this?

What is this body language triggering in you?

I guess it makes me wonder if she feels she made a mistake. The grass isn't greener. It isn't necessarily triggering anything in me other than thoughts.

During my 5 year r/s, breakups/makeups, many times I acted on what I thought me ex was thinking. A word of caution, she doesn't think like you do. It never occurred to me during this time to reflect on my thoughts and what those thoughts said about me. 


What do these thoughts say about you?

I guess that's the caretaker side coming out of me. I won't be acting on these thoughts. That said, it's a curious observation.

Where did you see the photos?

Facebook. She updated her profile picture, then I looked at a few more from the same photo album. I only looked briefly then got the hell out of there. It was the first time I'd glanced at her page in well over a month. Emotionally I don't think it triggered me or set me back, but I definitely saw those things that I mentioned above.

I understand. You mentioned that the caretaker side of you was coming out.

You have have been NC for 7 weeks and barely saw updates. It sounds like you are thinking about her and what she's up to. Are you worried about her welfare in the new relationship?

I'm not worried about her welfare. I'm surprised to see how her life has changed since I've been gone. A part of me feels like it's telling a story.

Also, I should mention that this isn't a confirmed replacement, but it seems obvious.

Hmm. If I wasn't thinking about someone I wouldn't peek on social media because I'm not thinking about them and I wouldn't turn to a message board after I peeked.