Title: What values did your ex bring to your life? Post by: thisworld on December 23, 2015, 05:55:25 PM I had a brief relationship so yes, I experienced a lot of attraction, things went unimaginably well for a month. Maybe he even loved me in his own way. But thinking about values, I don't see much beyond that personal "I love you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me" attraction. I didn't see integrity. And I know that people with integrity change in time as well. But I'm thinking and failing to see examples where my ex partner walked his talk in anything. So, I'm curious. What values did they bring to your life (so maybe I can learn to see them in my relationship, too)?
Title: Re: What values did your ex bring to your life? Post by: Confused? on December 23, 2015, 06:34:47 PM The only values you learn from pwBPD are your own values.
Title: Re: What values did your ex bring to your life? Post by: Itstopsnow on December 23, 2015, 10:32:53 PM You see they can talk the talk but can't walk the walk. They live their lives very superficially. They may claim to have core values, morals and a belief system. But does that match when they devalue you, or when they are cheating, lying , or manipulating. Or when one of their vices flare up. Like gambling or drinking. The have no core self identity. So what values could they possibly have on a long term basis . It can't happen with BPD. They have no stable sense of self.
Title: Re: What values did your ex bring to your life? Post by: Lonely_Astro on December 23, 2015, 10:37:02 PM What values did they bring to your life (so maybe I can learn to see them in my relationship, too)? The values you saw in your ex pwBPD were your values. It's just that simple. It's called "mirroring". Title: Re: What values did your ex bring to your life? Post by: hopealways on December 23, 2015, 11:57:20 PM None whatsoever. She had no values and definitely ZERO integrity. Her words meant nothing.
Title: Re: What values did your ex bring to your life? Post by: once removed on December 24, 2015, 12:29:41 AM modesty.
i dont mean a person who doesnt ever dress cute or sexy. the attitude is something ive always appreciated in a partner, and its, from everything i can tell, a consistent value in my ex; she reinforced my appreciation of this value. |