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Title: It comes in waves... Post by: FlyingJ on December 25, 2015, 06:36:24 PM Happy holidays everyone.
I received a text message today from my BPDxgf. It said "I know how hard this time is for your family and I want you to know I'm thinking of you all. Merry Christmas and happy new year!" About 10 years ago I lost a sibling the day after Christmas so this time of year is hard on all of us and it's just never been the same. I have been NC since the beginning on December after a grueling 3 years of emotional abuse and severe manipulation that has left me empty and wondering who I even am anymore. It's a struggle everyday and it comes in waves. The anger, the sadness, the depression, the happiness... .It's a vicious cycle that I hope subsides. Now her message wasn't anything hurtful but I know, I just know in my heart it wasn't for me. It was for her. It was to reach out to me on the hardest holiday to use my vulnerability to try and get something out of me. She has a cunning way of being a weasel with words. This girl never cared about me before, always put me last and was extremely selfish but now she suddenly developed feelings of sorrow and empathy for me? This is my Christmas story and I'm fighting it back and forth in my head. My heart wants to accept the empathy to be true and genuine but my rational voice says its absolute crap and completely disrespectful and selfish. Thanks for listening and any thoughts are welcomed. ----->Is there any type of projection that plays here? And if so, what would it be? Title: Re: It comes in waves... Post by: Newton on December 25, 2015, 07:51:06 PM FlyingJ... .happy holidays straight back to you |iiii
It appears to me that you have a very sound understanding of the motives behind these words... .and that is all they are... .words. It's a well worn phrase repeated here often, for good reason... one I took forward and apply to life now, daily... ."When someone SHOWS you what they are like... .believe them". Trust your gut... . Title: Re: It comes in waves... Post by: Welgrow on December 25, 2015, 08:02:36 PM Flying J,
It's coming in waves for me too. I last responded to her on the 12th of December and it's seemed near impossible to not contact and reach out for her. I finally blocked her number a few days ago. My friend tricked me into blocking her by saying that I'm only torturing myself by reading her messages and listening to her voicemails so why don't I block her number just over the next 3 days. He said that 3 days ago and tomorrow I will have to decide whether to unblock her or leave the blocks up. She has sent me pictures of her cutting herself, and vague threats of self harm and recklessness. She cycled into telling me that I'm the cruel one who has neglected her and recently says she loves me she can't be without me. She says she'll "treat me like a king." Her reasons is for saying these things matters little. She is who she is. I didn't cause her disorder, and I can't fix her disorder. Not sure what your ex would be projecting, but their pathology will continue no matter what we do. From what I understand it sounds like a pwBPD will continue the fantasy of the relationship in their mind. They will fantasize about how they are affecting us. Nothing we do can stop them from going down their path but we can get off the roller coaster. |