BPDFamily.com

Today, my exBPD has texted me... .here is her message :

"Lastly, I overthink... .I'm tired to overthink... .I would like to see you a last time... .I think it's not a good idea"

2 weeks ago she told me that she was deeply in love with my replacement... .a potential father for her baby... .let me call it a genitor! She told me clearly "I love him and he's very nice with me... .he does everything for me!" and look now. In 2 two days she's leaving for her native country for 3 weeks and I think when she will be back she will be more confused and depressed than ever! Here it's winter... .overthere (her country) it's summer... .she use to have seasonal depression so the shock will be tough!

Here is my answer : "Everything seems so clear for you just 2 weeks ago... .maybe that's what you wanted to make me believe? The best advice I can give you is to start a deep introspection during your vacation... .to look at you in the Mirror. Happy new year 2016."

I think their honeymoon phase is close to the end... .but what to think about that. Honnestly I feel very strong emotionaly... .the only temptation would be for sex... .I have'nt had any sex since our break up... .and the sex with her was really really great! Recently I have started  therapy and I feel very very good! What should I do with this?

Hey tribalmart, communication with a pwBPD can be very difficult and confusing as you said. pwBPD are emotional labile and tend to have poor executive functioning. Their opinions on people and things change more quickly than someone without those personality traits.

That said, I'm sorry that you're having a rough time with her. I'd be confused in that situation too.

I'd say keep going to therapy and look for emotional outlets that are not confrontational or harmful to yourself. There are a lot of ways for us to express our emotions in healthy and responsible ways. What do you like to do? Have any passions or hobbies that you can explore?

I'm going to the gym 5 times a week... .spend time with my daughter... .like to spend time at Starbuck with my laptop... .I cook... .Like I said I'm doing alot better. Sex has always been my weakness. Now it's clear in my mind... she's toxic and I cannot hope for something solid serious and true with a such woman. So for the emotional side... .I'm alomost out of the fog. But how to deal with the sexual temptation to have sex with her... .I know it's a weapon, her best way to put the hook again... .how can I overpass one of my most important problem. I'm a good looking man, finding another good sexual partner is not so easy... .I have some criteria that I'm not ready to give up. You know how seduction is made... .an average woman has many candidates, she has the choice. Otherwise a man of the same league has to work alot harder for the same result. Frustrating but That's life! Anyways, I dont want to move back just for sex, having sex with her would be letting her win! I dont think I'm already strong enough emotionaly to f**k her, leaving and behaving like if nothing has happened... .even if it would be great I'm just very realistic of where I am  in the Healing process... for the moment it will stay in my mind... better like this... so not now!