BPDFamily.com

I hope this is the correct board to ask, if not feel free to move staff.

I'm having a hard time getting over some things my ex BPd BF said to me during rage attacks and dysregulation. I  have tried Forgiveness, understanding the disorder, therapy, etc. and will

experience feeling much better, then out of nowhere, I'll remember awful things he said when in a rage, or dysregulated.

Things like " I want to punch your face out right now, or calling me " s@"(".  I'll remember and start to cry... it still hurts really bad. these outburst would come out of no where, and be disorienting and disturbing.

It was so mind bending because he could be so rational and sweet.

Have others experienced this overwhelming sadness? If so... what did u do, to stop allowing the memories to affect you?

thank u for your experience. Aldactone

It's important to understand, their rage has nothing to do with you. They project the intense emotions (which come from their perception, not reality). They hurl those insults because they are in pain, and they desperately want you to feel as awful as they do. The sad fact is that BPD carries with it a painfully acute awareness of their "difference,"  which is a huge contrast with NPD, who have no awareness of their "difference" from reality. They have a need to tear you down, because they feel inadequate. Every insult that is hurled comes from deep insult they feel about themselves. It's not you. I found a book called "Boomerang Love" helpful for getting me "Unstuck" from the guilt and internalization I experienced from those insults. You are on a journey. There will be good days and tough ones. But this group is a great place to travel that journey. I wasn't sure if I would make it to the other side, when I began my journey. Daylight eventually begins to come back in the form of clearer thinking and emotional healing. Both take alot of time.