BPDFamily.com

I met a lady last December and the relationship started out amazingly but son realized any current and past issues with her. Found out that her past was clouded in many relationships with married guys including relationships with brother in laws. This all came to light after a suicide attempt 3 months into the relationship. I was the man that needed to rush her to the hospital and learn what was going on. She opened up to me about being molested at age 11 by a friends father. She is now 50.I suppose this is where her illness started. I met her very best friend since child hood and she knew nothing of what she was going through.apparently I was the only one she talked to about her many struggles (suicidal thoughts/self harming/risky sex/ etc etc). She refuses therapy and has not been diagnosed but after doing extensive research into BPD she meets at least 9 of 10 boderline traits. She does not get out of control with her anger.her comments for not wanting or getting back is that I know to much about her. So when I back off she tries to draw me back and it's usually very sexual. The crazy part is she lures guys into relationships very regularly.they last 3-4 months. I have tried to remain a friend but really don't think this is possible. I feel more like its friends with benefits and that really is just hurtful to both sides. I do love this lady,or should I say I think I do. Why was I the lucky guy lol that she needed to confide to. This hurt so much. I know in my mind this can't work but I am finding it so hard to make a clean break

Duke join the club lol. I see you read up on BPD and she has many of the traits. Probably most of us on the detaching board have wanted  to get back with their ex and recycled many times. I know I have had my days where I question myself. The important thing to remember is disorder or not, you shouldnt be treated badly. People will tell you to think about the bad treatment you had to endure. I have found that it works for me most of the time. I'll admit it's still hard almost 6 months out. Especially around the holidays. Be patient and read through the info and posts. Many of the stories are the same. Good luck to ya

Hi duke2015,

*welcome*

I'm sorry to hear that. I hear push / pull behavior. You self protect and push her away and she's pulling. I can relate with how hard it is to break free from that pattern.

It sounds like you don't want a relationship with emotional detachment. Are you in love with her or do you love her? Why do you think that she confides with you?