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Was told the " new years resolution" is to never see me again.


Cool. How do these narc people live with themselves?

Hopefully for your sake they keep to their resolution. 

For my New Years resolution I'm giving up abstinence (hopefully) and sobriety.

I hope so too! It's not okay to come in and out of someone's life! Like how do people think like this?

Anyway, good for you!

I feel so used

The irony is ... they can't live with themselves ... they NEED you to feel a sense of existence.

Oh ... I mean YOU and someone else and someone else and someone else ad infinitum. They are predictable creatures despite the chaos that surrounds them.

Let them shout, bawl and throw a tantrum ... give them one thing and one thing only ... .SILENCE.

Happy New Year.

So true, and Happy New Year

There's a lot of articles on how they think but even after all I read, it's still to comprehend how someone can demonstrate so much love, to say and act like you are the love of their life, to show so much passion, to make love like you never experienced and then the next day discard you like you never meant a thing to them and show no remorse.  

The general thinking is that they had some trauma in their childhoods and learned to equate love to ultimately leading to immense pain and/or abandonment.  So they push you away to avoid the ultimate pain they think will come, or it's a pre-emptive strike to dump you first before you dump them, they may look for other options or even cheat while with you.  They have the emotional maturity of a child.  Completely irrationale thoughts due to their emotional dysfunction.  

How they can seem to move on so fast showing no remorse or pain when you believe there was such love and an emotional connection between you, I will never comprehend.  

Actions speak louder than words. I used to cling to things after the discard my ex said. Such as "I saved her" "I was her soulmate" " I was the only person she ever loved" but they were just words. She sure as hell didn't show me that this was the case with her actions.

this is the part of the breakup I am having the most trouble with. my ex didn't seem to discard me. she and I cried in the rain holding one another. the last thing she said to me was, "I am inlove with you." I didn't say it back.

but I am not stupid and I know maybe she did that to make me feel better or to leave the door open in my heart or because she meant it then but has now probably moved on (less than a month later) though I do not know because I have been strict on the NC and she's been kind enough not to reach out.

i still feel the discard. i felt it before the night we stopped talking. i know she is affected to a much lesser degree than me.