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My BPD ex is back around but after a few weeks the lies were already mounting so I told her I had my boundries and would not accept dishonesty and per usual the attacks start. She posted some nonsense on her FB page about getting all the negative people out of her life. Of course, a few hours later she texted me, about whether she could have a contact number for a certain company. A few years ago when this circus first started, I went strict NC and she bombarded me with texts, emails, etc. it was just short of hell. Am I fooling myself to think I can stay in LC and not get hurt or make my situation worse. Another thing about this scenario is I have been drawn back in before BUT she would never commit to anything which to me was a ploy to be able to keep me around yet still keep her stable in tact. I have always stated I will not be "one of a few" I feel I might be setting myself up if I am just friendly with her, knowing how many others she has kept around for her benefit. Some might think that, as she says, "taking it slow and seeing where it goes" is smart but I feel like that is her trying to keep me around because she operates quickly and aggressively when she knows what she wants.

Welcome, searching!

You're on the "saving a relationship" board, so I won't advise you to go NC. That's strictly for moving on and getting your head straight and your emotions balanced - it's not for working out problems (that could come later, but who knows?). If you're satisfied with the level of relationship that she'll give you right now, then great. It doesn't sound like you are though, and it doesn't sound like she's budging, so you might want to consider other options.

Can you tell us more about her BPD traits? I'm definitely seeing promiscuity (though she could just be making that as a choice, and not in a desperate attempt at validation) and dishonesty. Sometimes it's not BPD and you're just dealing with someone who doesn't make good choices.

Thank you for the response! As far as traits of BPD, she always has a physical ailment, recycles people for YEARS, her lying is amazing ( even to the point she sent me a video of a "friend's" daughters painted room in which my BPD ex claims she has not had contact with said "friend" and it shows her in the background of the video! Same shirt she had on that day because she had sent me a pic earlier and then claims it is said friend's mom not her in pic). When we first got together she pressed me into moving in with her, and gave me a key to her house within a few weeks. Come to find out, on my own, that she was behind on her mortgage over 5k and when she casually asked for some money, I played naïve and was instantly painted black. Her hot and cold is a thing of legends. She told me that, after spending a weekend together that it is just what she needed and that she needed me in her life, I was amazing. As she walked me to my car she said " call me if you ever wanna do lunch."... .that was 5 minutes later!