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Title: Using medium chill has startlingly awesome results ~ Post by: shellbell on January 04, 2016, 04:41:07 PM I never knew what it was called, or that it even had a name. The irony was that I was using it with my patients daily without ever knowing it, yet never even considered using it with my own BPD mom. I work primarily with severely and persistently mentally ill clients in a crisis psychiatric setting, more often then not, the primary dx I work with are mood and psychotic disorders, but infrequently a dash of PD was found from time to time. In a crisis setting and as a trained clinician it felt like second nature to "ok" and "mhm" my client's to death that were looking for a reaction or a validation of their delusions. It never dawned on me to start using this tactic on my own mother. I'm here to announce with a whole lot of cheer, that holy mother it works... .
I recently broke a long period of NC with my mom, I had her blocked via phone and email, but she found a way in by sending me a suspicious birthday card. Just as soon as NC was broken, the antics started. I fell into a pretty bad depression and was experiencing much of my psychosomatic symptoms I thought had been dealt with full force. My insomnia went through the roof, I was grinding my teeth to the point that I chipped one in my sleep, and my body was aching something awful, among other various psychosomatic problems I'll spare you the details of. Then I came across medium chill. WOW. What a difference. My mom went from calling me every few days with a new charge of getting me going to a random text every 3 or so weeks. She still tries to get my blood boiling, and sure she's really good at making me feel pretty crappy, but under no circumstances do I react or show emotion to her attempt to bring me down. Whoever posted that and I just so happened to read it, thank you. Seriously thank you. Title: Re: Using medium chill has startlingly awesome results ~ Post by: Pilpel on January 05, 2016, 12:04:34 AM So nice to hear of your success. I know those awful psychosomatic symptoms. My mom also had some really bad teeth grinding after dealing with SIL. For awhile there, just about every interaction with her, even ones that were relatively drama free, would cause me to sit awake at night because she or did something that crossed my boundaries.
Title: Re: Using medium chill has startlingly awesome results ~ Post by: kc sunshine on January 07, 2016, 08:29:32 PM What's medium chill?
Title: Re: Using medium chill has startlingly awesome results ~ Post by: Skip on January 14, 2016, 09:55:27 AM It's a grass roots term as you suspect... .it was created and defined by a couple of members in 2004 and it became poplar with some. But you are right, it is not sanctioned by nor has it been reviewed by any professionals. One needs to be careful with this as "Medium Chill" could easily become "passive aggression". I think those that have been most successful with this tool know the difference between ending the cycle of conflict and passive aggression. Mindfulness and WiseMind (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0) is a professional tool for dealing with our own "triggering". What is Mindfulness and WiseMind all about? In the simplest sense, we all develop from time to time, thinking patterns that do not serve us well. When we do, we are easily "triggered" -- having non-constructive reactions to specific words or actions based on prior experiences. We've all been there - resentment, pessimism, defensiveness, impatience, closed mindedness, distrusting, intolerance, confrontational, defeated... . Mindfulness and WiseMind is a type of self-awareness in which we learn to observe ourselves in real time to see and alter our reactions to be more constructive. What is depends on you use it. Historically "medium chill" has been the passive aggressive version of Wisemind. While the term actually traces back to this site (see history (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114204)), we generally steer members toward the Mindfulness and WiseMind (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0) workshop which has its roots in DBT. (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/mindfulness.gif) |