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Title: Do you ever think like they think? Post by: Confused? on January 04, 2016, 06:18:14 PM Strange question here but I feel like it's a strong detachment tool. I often rationalize actions of my dBPDexgf as if they were my own actions. For instance lets say I was the one who cheated on her and lied about it and left her. Knowing how she feels what would my action be for this poor decision I made. I would probably go cold on her. I would feel guilty and shameful. By now she has easily told friends and families. I am now a monster in everyone's eyes. All my lies came to plain sight. I am not trustworthy. Everyone sees it. I loved her with all my heart and look what I did. Do I reach out? If I do all those emotions will be brought back up. All the shame. Guilt. I treated her so bad. I raged at her. How could she even love me? No one loves me.
Now multiply that by infinity Title: Re: Do you ever think like they think? Post by: Learning_curve74 on January 04, 2016, 06:37:37 PM Well said, Confused?. |iiii Being empathetic and feeling what they feel can be a helpful tool in detaching, foregiveness, and healing.
Title: Re: Do you ever think like they think? Post by: VeraTrue on January 04, 2016, 07:20:43 PM I don't think it is strange. It helps me to try to think in terms other than the loop of "She tricked me... .she f**ked me over... .if she thinks of me at all it is to paint me black and blame me for her issues... .she never cared... .she's a destructive monster and I'm an idiot for ever trusting her... .i took all the bullets for her and she laughed while I bled"
Good lord. Anything is better than all that. Compassion is a great choice. Thanks for reminding me. |