BPDFamily.com

So I've seen here everybody coping with their pain and all and it sucks. However, does anybody have success stories of relationships after being with a BPD partner? Specifically the positives of a healthy relationship, the few I found made me understand leaving my ex was a good idea I'm sure others will benefit!

The day I left my 9 years relationship with a histrionic was, till this day, is the best day of my life. I'm not sure if it counts as a happy story :-)

I often joke that I'd like to "renew our breakup vows" like married people renew their wedding vows. She was so awful to me and it was like being reborn again. I celebrate it every year like its some holiday. It's just two days from my actual birthday so it works well. Since then we only wrote each other twice emails (she wrote me).

This is fine haha we need to have a section for the happiness that ensues after. This forum is awesome and I'm gaining a lot of insight but reading about everybody else getting done wrong makes me reflect on the relationship and feel pain. Reading stuff like what you posted makes me think hey so it's possible to be happy WITHOUT her? Ifor me personally being with her made me forget life before her how much I genuinely liked being alone.

Tldr;  this works :D

jujux15, you might check out the building healthy relationships (dating) board we have here along with the personal inventory board (you might need a few more posts before its accessible, im not sure). lots of folks have used those boards as tools as they went on to build a happier, better life :)

I was there, I'll check again thank you!

Success story with relationships. I'm newly out of this "relationship", am not in a new relationship but I'm hundred per cent sure that I'll have much much better relationships. I had a relationship with a NPD before, was younger and was wrecked (physical health went south) but I was able to form healthy and satisfying relationships afterward. I see BPD as yet another lesson that will help me sort out some of the things I could and should improve in myself. The awareness board is already providing me with great feedback and very practical tools. I know I'll be more successful (this feeling never disappointed me in my life before).

It may sound a bit cheeky, but my relationship with myself is already better (sorry for not having any other relationship success, yet  folie.  But I'm back to reality, with lots of validation about the fact that I can trust my gut, don't have cognitive distortions the way this BPD blames me (I didn't believe him anyway but was questioning certain personal traits), that my expectations are reasonable and healthy. I know that my reactions to extreme events may be imperfect but are within very very acceptable limits of positive human behaviour. I'm relieved bodily and mentally. I have a much better relationship with myself, thanks to this website and everybody here really.

I have a sexual trauma, I'm mostly angry with myself - he is disordered, I should have been more responsible about my sexual safety. I'm afraid to go in there, but even now, similar experiences here help me approach this more confidently.

I think these are as important as the next super-duper cool guy I'll date or not date:)) and just wanted to share them. I see my imaginary Mr.Super-duper cool as a natural consequence of these actually and if life doesn't give him to me, then it will be a super-duper cool single life. I'm completely OK with it.

Best

This definitely counts! I'm still not on par with the past me in terms of confidence so to hear somebody making positive improvements is definitely good to hear, you know it's irrational yet you feel like you'll never be better etc.

Heyyy, I'm so happy that it counts 

No worries, confidence does come back. Only sometimes we feel so confident that we think we can deal with some wrong things this time. (I think sometimes we want to test our newly gained skills as well ) So, we do a second-round. But I got out very quickly:)) Real confidence is admitting eternal defeat against Cluster B for me:))

Have a good day,

Eternal defeat hahaha good one also very true

Here is one that was recently posted.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=287835.0;all

This is exactly what I meant! If only there was a section where only posts like these were allowed it really hits home that there is a better life