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Does anyone know the words to encourage my child to seek help after all the chaos including police contact, rage, drug use and skipping work? She acknowledges there are major problems but cannot imagine a life without her bf and its destroying them both. I really want her to continue her mental health plan but we are at a loss to persuade her about this.

Hi Ozmario, I'm not sure of the words to use, but if she acknowledges there are issues to address-that's a positive, I'd work with validating those, to help her re-engage with her health plan. x

Sounds as if your daughter has/had a mental healthcare plan at one time.

I know I will ask my dd if she thinks about counseling when things get stressful for her.  I will remind her gently of a technique or two she had learned.

It is hard to watch the self-destruction.

How do you care for yourself thorugh all of this?

I don't know if this will help you, but with our daughter who was in a similar situation, we just kept saying to her that she was such a special person and she deserved better than that.  We tried to listen and validate, but couldn't rescue until she wanted the help.  It is so hard to watch though, I am sorry you are going through this.

I think there is a an overwhelming fear of being alone  sometimes plus also the love of chaos and drama that often keep these r/s going... .in my dds case anyway.Nothing I have said or did to make her believe that she was better off without him could make her feel otherwise... .she just didnt believe that she could exist without him as her focus was completly being in and saving the r/s which she would often admit wasnt a good one. My dd has very low self esteem issues, although she comes across that she is superior to us all and I believe that unless she resolves this issue then she will always think that being in a dyfunctional r/s is better than being in no r/s at all... .