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Title: My boyfriend has BPD and I have Bipolar Disorder Post by: kyrie on January 13, 2016, 10:28:03 AM Hi,
Recently, my boyfriend and I found out that he has BPD. Since I have Bipolar disorder since probably 2007, I completely understand him. I love him very much and I want to help him with every step, but I am new to this BPD thing. His moods shifts are really draining me though. We both work in the same office and he is throwing tantrums everyday day INSIDE in the office. It seems to be getting a bit out of control now. I want some advise on how to continue our relationship in a healthy manner. Title: Re: My boyfriend has BPD and I have Bipolar Disorder Post by: DreamGirl on January 13, 2016, 10:44:03 AM Hi there,
*welcome* It's a great first step in getting the right diagnosis. I take it that he's seeing a therapist? How long have you been together? ~DG Title: Re: My boyfriend has BPD and I have Bipolar Disorder Post by: kyrie on January 14, 2016, 06:55:25 AM Hi there, I take it that he's seeing a therapist? How long have you been together? ~DG No he is not seeing a therapist. For a long time we both have felt that he has sort of a mental issue... recently we just searched about BPD and took an online BPD test. The symptoms perfectly match him. We have been together for about 2.5 years. Title: Re: My boyfriend has BPD and I have Bipolar Disorder Post by: an0ught on January 16, 2016, 11:44:13 AM Hi kyrie,
Excerpt We have been together for about 2.5 years. Excerpt We both work in the same office and he is throwing tantrums everyday day INSIDE in the office. It seems to be getting a bit out of control now. BPD is as much a condition of a person as it can become a condition of the relationship. It takes time for it to take root and once it has it gets progressively worse if no steps are taken. He really should see a T if he knows he has BPD. For him it would mean a huge long term improvement of his quality of life. If he would be sent on a longer management training course would he bark? If he would get DBT acquiring a lot of the same skills to do better... .T for BPD is about acquiring skills not thinking about yourself as defective. Are you living together? If yes, then maybe you are spending too much time together and boundaries got eroded. Sense of self slowly lost and replace with a vague sense of we - the latter totally responsible for handling HIS emotions. The lower boundaries are the more difficulty will he have to regulate. The LESSONS can help you to implement and navigate healthy closeness and healthy individuality. Excerpt I want some advise on how to continue our relationship in a healthy manner. Beyond the generic advice to work through the LESSONS (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206.0) over the weeks and months there is not more advice on can give in general. There is plenty advice available on specifics. I could imagine being bipolar can get in your way dealing with his problems but how so? Take issues or situations, post them and work through your options with others. Learning skills takes understanding, time and practice. |