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Title: Which relationship were we replicating? Post by: samynet on January 14, 2016, 06:46:25 AM Hello Family,
Almost 4 months after the breakup I still questioning, doubting, hurting myself everyday mainly because I see her everyday. But it will become easier and I know one day I will be over it. Like all of you will. During my self discovery I found during a session with my T. that what I'm passing by is close to the "repressed" feelings that I have since ever toward my father. Sicking for the love of a distant, abusive, unstable and incapable of affection man. Since I'm a man I thought that most of my own issues would be related to relationship that I have with my mom, but from her side I've always been loved and cared. Another point is that, even if I'm now 30, I was never able to argue against my father even if it was what I wanted to do almost everyday since my childhood. With my exUBPD gf, even when she was yelling to me, I felt paralyzed, incapable of expressing my emotions and feelings I left her because I had such a lack of affection, and I was draining myself, now I know, because I was trying to change her. At the end I guess that I was trying to convert her in a lovable, affectionate father that I never had. I'm sad because I failed again... .:'( Do any of you relate to this sensation? Title: Re: Which relationship were we replicating? Post by: blackbirdsong on January 14, 2016, 07:29:43 AM Hello Family, Almost 4 months after the breakup I still questioning, doubting, hurting myself everyday mainly because I see her everyday. But it will become easier and I know one day I will be over it. Like all of you will. During my self discovery I found during a session with my T. that what I'm passing by is close to the "repressed" feelings that I have since ever toward my father. Sicking for the love of a distant, abusive, unstable and incapable of affection man. Since I'm a man I thought that most of my own issues would be related to relationship that I have with my mom, but from her side I've always been loved and cared. Another point is that, even if I'm now 30, I was never able to argue against my father even if it was what I wanted to do almost everyday since my childhood. With my exUBPD gf, even when she was yelling to me, I felt paralyzed, incapable of expressing my emotions and feelings I left her because I had such a lack of affection, and I was draining myself, now I know, because I was trying to change her. At the end I guess that I was trying to convert her in a lovable, affectionate father that I never had. I'm sad because I failed again... .:'( Do any of you relate to this sensation? Yes. I hear you. i think you just described my situation with my father. Also discovered this during my introspection after the breakup. I wanted to change her, always attracted to "distant" personality due to my relationship with my father. He wasn't abusive, he sacrificed a lot of his life so I can have better life, just he was distant, very distant. Now I have much better relationship with him, but it seems that childhood issues remained. |