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Today as a result of going to the employment center and dealing with several triggers after my daughter pushed my boundaries last night and I got a phone call from my brother last night that triggered me, I'm at a 61 on the Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=289000.0) test.

It sounds like you were quite triggered as you mention yourself which seems to be reflected in the dramatic increase  in your CEN score. Your score went from 27 to 61 which is a huge leap. I suspect this current high score is more a reflection of your triggered state and how you view things when in such a state than of your actual CEN score. This seems to be quite different from when you're in a more calm state of mind. Would you agree with this assessment?

When we're in a triggered state of mind, it's often way harder to think rationally and we're way more susceptible to distorted thinking patterns of our own. As a result of this I suspect your high score of 61 might give a too extreme representation of your CEN score. When you first did the test and got a 27, it sounds like you were much calmer and way less triggered based on the post you made then. Would you agree?

It's probably best to do the test when you're feeling relatively calm and aren't triggered, so you can answer the questions from a more objective perspective which isn't too strongly influenced by any extreme or sudden events in your life.

I'd say all of this also once again highlights the importance of mindfulness, identifying your triggers and practicing alternative responses and solutions ahead of time. These things can make it easier for you to deal with triggers, help you avoid triggering situations and help you stay more calm when in a triggering situation.

Kwamina, to be honest today was horrible. My daughter fell out of her chair at school and her desk landed on her phone and cracked her case and her phone and on top of it her father called wanting to see her, and there is a storm forecast for this weekend and he doesn't have personal transportation .

I should have taken the poll on the coping board as I'm not sure what's going on with my daughter but it's more extreme then some diagnosed teens .

Thank you  for moving this. I realized last night after reading other parents posts that I was going to have totally change my approach to parenting. I don't know what's going on with my daughter, however I don't have time to wait to find out, I see the symptoms and I'm going to have to start addressing them. The first thing I will be doing is watching the video on normal adolescent behavior vs. borderline behavior. Last night I was thinking about the trajectory of my daughter's life as a whole and I am definitely starting to see some things stand out, starting  from early childhood.

Also I should say that its probably not wise for me to compare her to other diagnosed teens, each teen has their own set of distressing behaviors, however my daughter refusing treatment does not erase the problem. That is her father's approach to his disorder, denies its existence, won't get treatment, self medicates, I don't want her going down that path.