BPDFamily.com

Have you had a recent physical exam?  If you're on this forum, you need one.  This is why:

I had my yearly physical exam in June which was one month after kicking my insane BPD daughter out of my home. 

-My resting pulse rate was 110.  I wasn't obese, out of shape, or dehydrated.  That was from chronic anxiety from living with my BPD's insanity.  That placed me at increased risk for death from stroke and heart failure. 

-I had develop polycythemia. (I live in a city with a low altitude.) Not sleeping well at night and chronic anxiety caused this.  It dramatically increased my chance for death from pulmonary emboli and stroke. 

Yesterday I went back for a recheck.  My resting pulse rate was 80 (with no medications) and the polycythemia is resolving.

Hi Sososotired

Thanks for sharing and for your thoughtful reminder. I'm so pleased to hear your health markers have improved. It's so easy to get consumed for many years and forget to look after ourselves.

WDx

My heart is broken and I don't know if it will ever be fixed.

I believe my fibromyalgia is in part down to my undiagnosed PD son.

I understand.  I experience many things each day that trigger me to feel intense sadness. May God have mercy upon grieving parents.

I have no doubt about the physical impact of having a BPD child/loved one. Last Monday I thought I was going to have a stroke the pressure behind my eyes was immense.


Eyamme I have been doing EMDR with my therapist and we have been doing some emotional strength mediations that I have to practice 2 x a day 2 meditations. I have been doing 1 for 2 weeks and have been given another to do last Tuesday. It is very weird but somehow they are given me some strength I lost and I am not so confused and hurt. When the demands of my dd are intense I quickly do the one that is about a safe place there no one can hurt me and within a minute I can find the safe place and the feelings aren't overwhelming anymore. 

Donnab,

I have been meditating. I also started yoga. Thanks for the support. I feel so lonely in all this.

My saving grace is my supportive husband. He is my daughters step father who loves vets my daughter and is heartbroken this is happening.

Sososotired,

I am so sorry we are all so hurt.

I thought I was having a heart attack... .I was with my daughter and all she cared about was being mad that I made her drive me to the hospital. Unbelieveable. It was a panic attack... .no surprise it only happens when I am with her or distressed about her. These kids have taken years off their parents lives.

I am so sorry. I am glad you were ok.

J.

Thanks Eyeamme. What you said is so true... .we have broken hearts.

Dear SoSoSoTired,

What you said:

"I understand.  I experience many things each day that trigger me to feel intense sadness. May God have mercy upon grieving parents."

sure hits home with me. Some times you feel ok and then it is like a wave that comes over you washing you up on the memories of pain. It can be a song, a place, a random thought, doesn't much matter what it is... .the feelings just come flooding in.

"May God have mercy upon grieving parents."

is anyone aware of health studies done on family of BPD people? I know my uBPD grandfather lived to be 97 but buried four children on their fifties and sixties. They responded to his abuse with a lot of substance addiction but even where they sobered up they didn't live long after that.I often think  he used them up. He would rage and split and feel a lot better afterwards because he had taken out his stress on them. I would be glad to hear if there have been formal research on this.

In the meantime SoSoSotired thank you! I am becoming a lot more aware of what stresses me -interacting with my toxic family  - and making a point of self care after every stressor