BPDFamily.com

We are expats living in Asia.  We've been carving out a life here for the last 7 years.  17 y.o. Dd has been recently diagnosed (in USA) with BPD and depression. 2 weeks ago she had her 3rd suicide attempt and now she is severely depressed and cannot get out of bed. 14 y.o. son was also recently diagnosed (in USA) with anxiety and has not been able to get himself to school because anxiety issues are overwhelming.  We've tried so many things over the years (counseling, medicine, finding interesting extracurricular activities for the kids, using skills workbooks with them (husband is skilled at this, used to be a pastor), church fellowships, etc.), but are just both feeling so exhausted and anxious with the latest developments.  There isn't much support in this country in terms of mental health resources or peer support for the kids.  I quit my part time job and my husband pulled back on his hours in order for us to be there with our children more; we love our kids so much but we recognize that being with them has taken a heavy emotional toll on us.

Two things on my mind:

1)  Anyone know of any good mental health resources out in the Pasadena/LA area or in San Francisco?  We are seriously praying and exploring the option of moving.  Dd (17yo) could use a partial hospitalization program (heard UCLA has one) and peer support, and son (14yo) could use counselor/psychiatrist for anxiety and more. Is there a shorter term day program (less than a year) for BPD teens (she is almost an adult) somewhere?  DD would like to work on acquiring more skills to cope, but is only ready to commit to the next step (short term).  Is there a good faith based (Christian) DBT center around in southern California?

2) Has anyone attempted a big move like this at what seems a low point?  I'm not sure that we all have the emotional energy for a move like this, but we are feeling more and more desperate.  My anxiety levels rise significantly when I think of how I can make it through another semester here with the lack of support here. I think we have made the move a little "easier" by being open about how long we will stay in the USA.  They are both free to home school for the rest of this semester but still have in mind to come back in September to continue their schooling at the International school they have been going to (it is all they know).  I think that there is a chance that they can establish better supports in the USA while we are there and decide to stay (which would be alright with us; we would change our working and living arrangements to help them thrive).

Grace Cat/Mom in Asia

Hi Grace Cat

I am very sorry your children are struggling with these problems. This also isn't easy for you. Now that they have been diagnosed, you at least do know what you are dealing with.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has been proven to be effective for at least some people with BPD. For this to happen it is crucial that the person fully acknowledges that she/he has a problem and fully commits to working on their issues. Do you feel like your daughter accepts her BPD diagnosis and acknowledges that she has a problem? Has she expressed being open to therapy?

It's horrible when a loved one attempts suicide. How is your daughter doing now? And also how is your son dealing with the fact his sister has attempted suicide?

This was her third suicide attempt, did anything in particular lead up to this attempt? When did she make those two other attempts?

You are dealing with a lot right now. I am glad you have come here for support and advice.

Take care and welcome to bpdfamily