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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: jcw250 on January 16, 2016, 06:46:46 PM



Title: moved How do I stop thinking about her
Post by: jcw250 on January 16, 2016, 06:46:46 PM
I just ended a 3 year relationship. We met while we were both going through a divorce. It was all perfect until I realized there were little white lies, a shopping addition, and she had feelings that life had wronged her. I became co-dependant and thought we could start a new life together. Over time, nothing I did improved. Anything she did that hurt me, despite communication with her, changed for a short time, and then went back. She is a great person, and I love her, but cannot help her.

Over the years, she blamed things for her actions. ADD, alcohol addiction (which she clearly was not), her family, me, her past to mention a few. Her daughter was diagnosed with BPD and that is when I realized she has it to.

This is not anything new for anyone reading this, but she lied to me again about something stupid and I ended the relationship, stating that lying crosses MY boundry. Of course, she said she lied because of something I did. 

I know it is the only thing I can do, but here I am, struggling with the FACT that she is not feeling the same pain I am. That she will find another person to replace me and although I cannot continue the relationship, it would make me feel better to know that she feels remorse for everything she has put me through or at least why I cannot be with her. How do I get past this?