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Title: 2 weeks NC... Post by: Fnaks on January 17, 2016, 02:42:45 PM ... .and she's ringing me now, leaving really sad messages crying and saying how much she loves and misses me and that's she's not strong etc. I keep ignoring her but it's so hard. Should I speak to her? Tell her we are doing the right thing and give her a 'boost'? It feels so wrong to ignore her when she's SO upset :'(
She's got therapy again tomorrow so is probably feeling vulnerable. I just want to make her feel ok again... . Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: blackbirdsong on January 17, 2016, 03:11:42 PM Did she end the relationship?
Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: Fnaks on January 17, 2016, 03:16:57 PM Did she end the relationship? No, I did. Months ago. She won't accept its over (I struggled too!) Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: zeus123 on January 17, 2016, 03:39:38 PM how long ago you started NC?
Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: Fnaks on January 17, 2016, 04:00:18 PM how long ago you started NC? Two weeks yesterday. This is the longest we have ever gone in 2 years. She's ringing me as we speak... . Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: zeus123 on January 17, 2016, 04:31:22 PM Fnaks i have maintained strict NC for 14 months with my BPDex, during that time i received many text messages from her stating how much she's struggling with our rupture and how much she misses me and love me and so on. it's up to you if you want to talk to her,but before you do ask yourself this:" your needs didn't matter during the relationship so why would they matter now for her after the relationship has ended". BPD is primarily looking for NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY in a relation. they are not looking for real love or intimacy, in fact they hate people who are close to them and love them. her attempt to contact you is not about the relationship or what you meant to her, her sole purpose is she needs someone to punish for her emptiness and self- loathing. if you want to resume contact it's up to you but trust me it will eventually later on feel like a relapse of a bad flu virus. do like i did and stay NC, trust me you will be grateful you did!
Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: bdyw8 on January 17, 2016, 05:51:28 PM It's hard to see them contacting you and that's why I have my exBPD blocked on my phone and blocked on social media. That way I can't even know if she's tried contacting me as it's too high of a risk for me. If I'm weak, I know I will open that door back up one day and be hating myself even more later on for putting myself in that position to be hurt.
When she has called me at work where I can't block a number, I just delete the message without listening because they are CRAFTY and MANIPULATIVE and know EXACTLY what to say or do to suck us back in! Title: Re: 2 weeks NC... Post by: Rmbrworst on January 17, 2016, 06:13:13 PM It's up to you if you want to contact. I think 2 weeks is too early. You are still fragile. I'm at 3 weeks and just starting to feel like a semi normal human again.
If you do contact, make sure you are very firm with your boundaries. Good luck. Much love. |