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As some of you know from my previous post, H had a whopper last week and destroyed his laptop. He's been fine since, but last night he went into some other issues he has been having (he's always got some sort of cause or something someone is doing that upsets him, but I digress), but while he was talking, he said he's been having reoccurring dreams, one of which is that we are at my son-in-law's house, and he and I are standing in the yard watching a meteor go overhead and crash. He said that's a safe one because we clearly make it. The other dream is he said he has 'seen it' that his mother will die before his father.

For those that don't know, I'll recap. His father is in bad health, and won't be with us much longer. His mother is in waaaaaay better health.

All I really could say is how that must be hard for him to have those dreams... .but I didn't know what else to say.

I am wondering does a dysregulation cause magical thinking? Like, if he's stressed out... .does it just come out more? I've noticed that he seems even uncomfortable in his own skin. Like he's wearing an itchy sweater he can't take off.

In my experience, yes, it can.  It happened several times when my diagnosed BPD ex wife and I were breaking up (19 years of marriage and two small children).  There were times when I couldn't help but think she was entering some kind of delusional phase.  It didn't anger me, it didn't make me feel superior (not that I'm suggesting you do), it only made me feel frightened and a bit helpless.  I think you've experienced this sort of thing, and if you're like me, it only makes you feel worse -- frightened and concerned. 

So yes, I think that it does lead to magical or fantastic thinking.  Some of the statements and the behavior I witnessed I will never forget. 

Yeah it's odd, because he's so logical most of the time, but then this stuff comes out and it's like from someone else. It's bizarre.

In my wife the two go hand in hand. A little magical thinking leads to dysregulation which leads to more magical thinking... .

It works in reverse too. Some dysregulation about one thing will cause magical thinking somewhere else and start the cycle anew.

I also agree with Goateeki that this delusion business is very unsettling. I will be talking with my wife thinking the issue is about something real, only to realize when we are full in it that she's out in la la land.

I spent most of this last weekend in this space. My wife would begin the day by talking in code about something, which from her slips I determined she thought I was cheating on her. When I asked directly if this was the case she said "No, it's something else" and slipped back into code again. The next day she was like "I know you do terrible things, but I forgive you because you don't know you do it." This is when the icy shiver ran up and down my back. How do you respond to a statement like that? Thankfully at that point she sputtered off and started to talk about something else equally surreal. That's OK, because the next day my excuse of not knowing was no good anymore. Now I'm absolutely convicted of being a philanderer and she has "proof". And no, I can't see it. But it's all OK, she says we can still have sex if I wear condoms.

If this hadn't been going on for years I would say I'm the crazy one.

OkOk and also then... .the saying something cryptic and weird as crap juuuuuuuuuust below your breath, then refusing to repeat it?

My husband will have bad dreams and he'll say I was "mean" to him in his dream, then he'll punish me for the rest of the day by glaring at me and being distant when I try to hug him. Like his dreams have more reality than real life.

And he says things in a whisper and refuses to repeat them. Very irritating. He knows how to elicit the negativity he dreams of.  my-issues

I've had my husband on several occasions exclaim "At least I've never gotten mad at you about a dream!" and at first I didn't know where that was coming from because I honestly have never done that. I assumed maybe one of his ex's used to or something. Until the day I came home form work and he told me about a dream he had and he literally said "I have been so pissed off at you all day!"

-_-