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After nearly three years she left contacted the police so that I would stop contacting her and changed her phone number... ! She left before nd came back once for three months but mostly for a few days... ! This time I've been made to look like the abuser but does this mean that she's not going to come back anymore... !

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about this, Seamy.  That must hurt terribly to be so coldly shut out and then falsely accused like this.  I'm sorry, man.  These relationships can be immensely painful sometimes.

As you know, pwBPD can split us.  We are sometimes split white where we are the greatest person in the world, and times when we are split black and we are the worst person in the world.  This is one of the common coping mechanisms of the disorder.  It's a way for pwBPD to seal themselves off from the agonizing pain of loss (you are a horrible person so I don't miss you), and to externalize tremendous shame by making it someone else's fault.  That might well be what is going on here with your partner.  When the emotions have cooled and your partner is closer to baseline emotionally, she may stop the splitting.   It's hard to know how long that might take, however.

The important thing right now is to protect yourself.  If the police are involved, you must take it seriously no matter how unfair you feel her charges are.  For now, let her go.  If she contacts you in the future, you can see what happens.  In the meantime, try and take good care of yourself.  This is a very difficult experience - it has been for all of us.  We understand.  So, right now take good care of you.   |iiii

Hi Seamy,

Any word from her? How did things go with the police, and did she try to get a restraining order or protective order against you?

How were the two of you doing before she left?

LnL

Ya sure enuf she contacted me wen she had no one else even cut her wrists before ringing me... .I got yelled nd guilt tripped for it before telling me dat she wasn't sorry for the police day I creeped her out... ! We were grand for a week until I was going out with a friend for an hour and it became how I left her for ___... ! Then she threw everything in my face coz all I wanted was to be shown a little affection... .! She is being treated for depression but is dat any good in the long run as she will be starting councilling shortly

Can you hear what she's really saying? Forget the actions, implicitly or explicitly ask to be "rescued," but those which mean that you aren't safe around her when her personality (and actions) is so compartmentalized?

I dnt really understand that is she askin to be rescued because she will not tell any1 she is with me and not give me her new number as I was the reason she had to get it in the first place... !