BPDFamily.com

Simply defined, psychosis is a mental disorder characterized by a disconnection from reality.  I believe, after discussing her behavior with my therapist and doing research of my own, that my BPDexgf had psychotic episodes.

The first reason I believe this is her interpretation of what people said to her (including myself).  There were many instances when she would bring up something that was said to her and repeat it in a completely distorted sense.  A few of the words would be the same, but the meaning of it would be completely changed into some kind of attack on her.  Something her PD added in to this was blanket statements like "always" and "never". 

The second reason I believe my BPDexgf is psychotic is the jealousy and overall paranoia she expressed.  She constantly said things that made it seem like everyone she knew was somehow against her and every female in the world was trying to steal me from her.  Her "rationale" for her behavior was so far from reality, yet she believed it was true.  It must be so difficult to go through life having an experience that is so removed from what is actually happening. 

Finally, my BPDexgf thought she always knew what others were thinking and that she knew what would happen in the future.  Of course normal people have hunches or intuition about these things, but she truly believed it.  I would try and reason with her and explain why something may actually be different from her predictions (as things often were), but she wouldn't hear it.  Her "reality" came from the strong emotions she experienced, and there was no place for reason here. 

The word psychotic has a very negative connotation.  It generally means "crazy".  I am not trying to put a label on my BPDexgf here and simply say she is crazy.  I am trying to understand a logical reason for her behaviors, and a disconnection from reality seems like a very accurate description.  Knowing that her "reality" is not my reality makes it easier to understand a lot of what she did, but it does still hurt. 

Can anyone else relate to this?

From the communication issues you described to the false reality that every girl was going to take me from her is identical to my ex

Borderline Personality Disorder is termed such because it recognised that the condition existed on the border of neurosis and psychosis.

So, yes... .that makes it easier to understand how situations can trigger psychosis.

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense.  I did not know the origin of the name of the disorder.

Hi StillRecovering,

My partner is both Bipolar and BPD.   She has been psychotic.   The last time she "lost" her name.   She came to believe that her given name wasn't 'attached' to her any longer.    It was an interesting period.

You might find this additional reading helpful.

Borderline Personality Disorder - A Clinical Perspective (https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a103.htm)


The Symptoms and Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder  (https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a102.htm)

'ducks

What you're describing sounds more like BPD cognitive and memory distortions than psychotic behaviors. There are shades of gray between the two, of course.

With BPD, you get thoughts, memories, and beliefs that are twisted versions of reality. A neutral conversation is viewed as one where she was persecuted. She assigns negative thoughts and emotions to other people, without evidence. And so on.

Psychotic beliefs go further -- her thoughts and emotions are assigned to outside agencies that have the power to place them in her head.

Here's an example.

BPD: My friends are talking about me behind my back. They hate me. I'm angry because they won't confess that they're really trying to ruin my life.

Paranoid Schizophrenia: The FBI has planted devices in my head that let me hear other people's thoughts. I can hear them talking in my head about how much they hate me. There are angels living in the walls of my house who are telling me I must stop talking to my friends. The angels make me obey them.

Agreed. Though I think pwBPD are right on the edge of psychosis, as the name suggests, and under extreme dysregulation can go off the edge. My ex had two periods (while we were together) during which she got so dysregulated that she was described by mental health professionals as delusional... .The first episode involved phone calls to the FBI and plans to join the CIA.

I think the difference between her episodes and straight-up schizophrenia were that hers were very extreme versions of usual BPD behaviors. Your average pwBPD probably has trumped-up or completely fabricated stories about how people in her past abused her. If they're dysregulated enough, they might start calling the FBI about it.

This makes sense.  Cognitive and memory distortions seems like a more accurate label than psychosis.  Perceiving things differently than they actually occurred. This was a source of many arguments between us.  One example stands out to me.  We were at her sister's house for a get-together.  I was making small talk with a female guest and mentioned something about my job.  In the car on the way home, it turned into "You were trying to impress that bi--h looking like a bigshot."  She invented things I said and had the usual paranoia about other females.  I knew something was coming because of the silent treatment that began toward the end of the party... .just another day ruined.  But I'm really trying to understand that.  My exgf's perception of the situation was that I was in some way trying to win this woman over.  In that moment, she truly believed that.  Is that a cognitive distortion or a form of psychosis?  It does indeed seem to be a grey area but definitely not normal. 

Stillrecoveri

I had exact same thing with mine, i tried showing her how many other explanations there could be for what somebody "said" which i learned most of time wasnt even close to what she heard ( i say created)

My question is, did you end up bearing the brunt bc she lumped u into those who ever against her ie all i ever heard was you don't support me, you never have bc i didnt say wow how could someone say that about bla bla but I knew it was her typical creation of false reality.

I was always playing the middle, doesnt work

No it doesn't work.  There wasn't one way that it always went.  Sometimes I was grouped into the people she was worried about, other times she made it like everyone was against "us".  Either way I would have to bear the brunt because it would be a blowup.  My perspective now is that I'm not trying to blame her anymore for her disorder.  I am just trying to understand and move on.

From wikipedia:

Delusions are categorized into four different groups:

Bizarre delusion: Delusions are deemed bizarre if they are clearly implausible and not understandable to same-culture peers and do not derive from ordinary life experiences.[4] An example named by the DSM-5 is a belief that someone replaced all of one's internal organs with someone else's without leaving a scar.

Non-bizarre delusion: A delusion that, though false, is at least possible, e.g., the affected person mistakenly believes that he is under constant police surveillance.

Mood-congruent delusion: Any delusion with content consistent with either a depressive or manic state, e.g., a depressed person believes that news anchors on television highly disapprove of him, or a person in a manic state might believe she is a powerful deity.

Mood-neutral delusion: A delusion that does not relate to the sufferer's emotional state; for example, a belief that an extra limb is growing out of the back of one's head is neutral to either depression or mania.[5]Themes   

In addition to these categories, delusions often manifest according to a consistent theme. Although delusions can have any theme, certain themes are more common. Some of the more common delusion themes are:

Delusion of control: This is a false belief that another person, group of people, or external force controls one's general thoughts, feelings, impulses, or behavior.[5]Cotard delusion: This is a false belief that one does not exist or has died.[6]Delusional jealousy: A person with this delusion falsely believes that a spouse or lover is having an affair, with no proof to back up their claim.[5]Delusion of guilt or sin (or delusion of self-accusation): This is an ungrounded feeling of remorse or guilt of delusional intensity.[5]Delusion of mind being read: The false belief that other people can know one's thoughts.[5]Delusion of thought insertion: The belief that another thinks through the mind of the person.[5]Delusion of reference: The person falsely believes that insignificant remarks, events, or objects in one's environment have personal meaning or significance.[5]Erotomania A delusion in which someone falsely believes another person is in love with them.[5]Grandiose religious delusion: The belief that the affected person is a god or chosen to act as a god.[7][8]Somatic delusion: A delusion whose content pertains to bodily functioning, bodily sensations or physical appearance. Usually the false belief is that the body is somehow diseased, abnormal or changed.[5] A specific example of this delusion is delusional parasitosis: a delusion in which one feels infested with insects, bacteria, mites, spiders, lice, fleas, worms, or other organisms. Affected individuals may also report being repeatedly bitten. In some cases, entomologists are asked to investigate cases of mysterious bites. Sometimes physical manifestations may occur including skin lesions.[9]Delusion of poverty: The person strongly believes that they are financially incapacitated. Although this type of delusion is less common now, it was particularly widespread in the days receding state support.[10]

Srry for the poor format of this.

Things that are plausible but 'made up' are under the category of non bizarre delusions.  So imagining a person is cheating with absolutely no merit, is actually considered psychotic.  Delusions are a form of psychosis. 

If I recall correctly, dissociation is as well, which actually confuses me because everyone dissociates to some degree such as getting lost in thought while driving or forgetting where you put keys and cannot recall at all.

Well, pretty much all cognitive problems or behaviors that we categorize as mental illness are just extremes of what everyone experiences. Everyone gets sad, feels hopeless, doesn't want to get out of bed -- but those with major depression experience it to such a level that it interferes with their ability to live a functional life.

Thank you flourdust, that helps.  I have PTSD, so do not like to think of myself as psychotic when feeling dissociative.  I do feel labels have their place and can be both helpful and not so helpful.  Forgetting about if something is defined as 'psychosis' is sometimes helpful if we can instead think in terms of function and how the behavior either facilitates functioning or impairs it.

I would say that dissociation was helpful for survival of childhood abuse for many of us and our pwBPD.  However, in the context of situations that are not actual threats to our lives or dangerous in some way, dissociation can be a distraction from better functioning.

Anyway... .  To bring it back to topic... .

While psychosis is defined as a disconnection from reality, I'd add that there are times that disconnection from reality serves an important function in survival at times.

Other times, disconnection is a real obstacle from a person getting objectives met.

Also, reality is subjective in many ways.

So Stillrecovering, it sounds like what you are describing of your BPDexgf is indeed a psychosis, but more importantly, it was counterintuitive to obtaining objectives she desired.  She was using coping mechanisms that likely served her well to survive in the past, but applying them reactively in the present when they were not useful, but rather harmful to getting her needs/desires met.


Yes.

Having a different reality from my ex bothered me the most then, and still bothers me now, over 8 months later.  It feels mind boggling to me like if someone were to announce the earth is actually a triangle, I think I would need to re ponder that one for many many years to undo all my understandings in life based on this new triangle and realign all my thoughts on life again.

Actually, this 'different reality' issue is one of the biggest core triggers for me, certainly going all the way back to childhood.