|
Title: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: HumbleHeart on January 26, 2016, 09:03:51 AM I keep having dreams of my ex with another guy and it sucks waking up feeling like this. Even though we've been broken up sometimes I hope she would just paint me white again or I could just be over her already. I'm now fighting the urge to see what she's been up to (she post everything on twitter) but at the same time I know I might see something that would crush me. My biggest fear is that she replaces me with someone better and I never mattered or existed
Title: Re: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: once removed on January 26, 2016, 06:31:51 PM hey humbleheart
im sorry to hear about the dreams, i had some bad dreams myself that really sucked. the good news is that the dreams do stop. ill put it this way: theres nothing youd see on her social media that is going to make you feel better. i suspect she could post gibberish, and given how youre feeling at the moment, youd interpret it as evidence that you never mattered or existed. i would also recommend exploring that fear. you fear she replaces you "with someone better". i had a similar fear, i think a lot of us do. do you believe that other people are "better" than you, or do you mean someone that is better suited for her as a partner? chances are you mattered more than you know. Title: Re: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: HumbleHeart on January 26, 2016, 07:54:36 PM hey humbleheart im sorry to hear about the dreams, i had some bad dreams myself that really sucked. the good news is that the dreams do stop. ill put it this way: theres nothing youd see on her social media that is going to make you feel better. i suspect she could post gibberish, and given how youre feeling at the moment, youd interpret it as evidence that you never mattered or existed. i would also recommend exploring that fear. you fear she replaces you "with someone better". i had a similar fear, i think a lot of us do. do you believe that other people are "better" than you, or do you mean someone that is better suited for her as a partner? chances are you mattered more than you know. Thank you so much for responding, and you seem very insightful. What did you experience first hand Title: Re: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: once removed on January 27, 2016, 06:23:22 AM thanks humbleheart, im glad to help. when you ask what i experienced first hand, do you mean with regard to dreams, checking on social media, fears, which?
Title: Re: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: HumbleHeart on January 27, 2016, 09:33:05 AM thanks humbleheart, im glad to help. when you ask what i experienced first hand, do you mean with regard to dreams, checking on social media, fears, which? When you said "chances are you mattered more than you know" Title: Re: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: once removed on January 27, 2016, 10:11:30 PM ah. i should have elaborated on that. i cant really say i had first hand experience of evidence that i mattered more than i knew. people with BPD desperately seek to attach. generally speaking, they mean everything that they say at the moment that they say it. sadly, those feelings are not sustainable, nor is a secure attachment. it is common coming out of these relationships for the exBPD to give the impression that they never cared, that the partner never meant a thing, that they have moved on over night. its far more complicated and complex, and usually, simply not the case, despite appearances.
Title: Re: Nightmares of my her and now I'm curious Post by: HumbleHeart on January 27, 2016, 11:20:35 PM ah. i should have elaborated on that. i cant really say i had first hand experience of evidence that i mattered more than i knew. people with BPD desperately seek to attach. generally speaking, they mean everything that they say at the moment that they say it. sadly, those feelings are not sustainable, nor is a secure attachment. it is common coming out of these relationships for the exBPD to give the impression that they never cared, that the partner never meant a thing, that they have moved on over night. its far more complicated and complex, and usually, simply not the case, despite appearances. I really wish I knew, but thank you for your insight and understanding the circumstances |