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Just my current thought tonight, in April will be 2 years nc. Feel I haven't changed and things are far from good at the moment. Does anyone else on here feel they will never return to there old selves. I feel I am no longer the same and that part of me will never return.

How long were you on your relationship? If it was a significant amount of time . More than 3 years. It will take a while. These relationships are very hard to get over. There is so much deception from someone you trusted the most! Someone you felt was a soul mate. They are so clingy they make us feel it's a normal way to be. So the clingy neediness becomes the norm for both parties. I felt so smothered by my ex at times. He made me go in the pool with him at every hotel because he didn't want to be alone. I went to work with him. He wanted to do everything together. And after a while we view their boundary problems as love and loyalty. But it's not . It's just their illness and fears of being alone, or bored.  It takes time to find yourself again without them. Did you do therapy? If not maybe try. And if you have maybe go back. I am still in so much pain and flung therapy. Almost 3 months NC after a 18 month r/s. We talked and hung out two more months. NC still makes me feel a certain level of anxieties . It's sad to see how close you were to now being basically enemies or strangers at the very least. Do you have a support system? Do you get out with friends? Have you tried to date at all.

Neverloveagain thank you for bringing this topic up. I feel how you do. I know that I be able to eventually put the pieces of my life back together but I will never be the same. Many friends have reached out concerning this topic with me. How they are all very worried about how I will bounce back. My relationship changed me forever and I'm not sure if its for better or worse. I went from being a very confident person to having very little self esteem. I constantly question myself and don't feel secure in much of anything anymore. My ex beat me down so badly I completely lost myself and the gaslighting she did has made me very unsure of who I am and what issues I have. I was seeing a T for awhile twice a week who assured me I am not crazy nor am I any of the things my ex convinced me I was. I am still in a very depressed slump and finding it hard to get myself back together.

@ itstopsnow my relashionship with my ex was 10 years and 2 years prior to that as close friends. I'm in the uk and no I haven't seen a therapist it's kind of not like that here. I probably should have a better grip now than I do but I'm finding hard to trust anyone new in my life I'm thankful for my handful of close friends but they don't really understand the disorder. It's just hard when you try to explain to anyone how it pans out is they look at you like your crazy.