BPDFamily.com

Hi all, I haven't been on here as much as I was. Sometimes I feel like I need a rest. Just dealing with him is exhausting.  I just wanted to update you on what I have seen with my stbx in case it helps anyone. Well, they say they repeat patterns, but I had no idea it would be almost exactly! So what I can surmise is that something has gone on once again with the woman he was with twice during my marriage. His gf is going through a similar situation! It has been about a year since they have been together and that is about the time I was finding out about his cheating (the first time). I believed him that the woman was after him and I believe she thinks the same here. It's so helpful to me to see that after 9 years of being told that I was the problem... that he is repeating the pattern and the replacement is going through the same exact situation with him! It was not me... .I know I am supposed to know this, but I really was thinking I could have done something different or maybe I am too old for him. Now I see for myself he is the same. I am a bit shocked she let him recycle her for the 3rd time. The other thing that is a bit upsetting is that his Sister and Father have "friended" the replacement on Facebook. I am sure she asked them. I realize she is having his baby and they may want to see pictures she posts or something.  His Mother has NOT become friends with her (she thinks she is trash)... .which makes me smile. We are not divorced and it looks like it will be awhile. He wants me to pay for half the divorce! I have no intention in being duped into paying for a divorce when he is the adulterer and has done so much damage to me financially and mentally. I already paid half for the separation. I am not doing it again. He purposely hid money he had from me then too. I am willing to wait it out until he comes up with the money to pay. In the meantime he is paying my health insurance and I will take it! I am sure with his recent demotion, he wants to stop paying... .but too bad.It is not my problem. He caused all of this!  I am not sure if he is in a big hurry to marry this girl or not. He said not, but he lies. He actually wrote to my lawyer on Tuesday that he had no idea how to make my alimony payments now that I have closed our joint account!  Last Saturday he told me he put a check in the mail (of course I haven't gotten it yet) and I have been discussing how he can make payments through the  bank for the last two months!  He is such a liar! I am sorry, but as mean and awful as he has been to me, I am not going to let him get off easy here. I am taking my power back and not be manipulated and fall for his crap any more! It's hard for me to truly know how evil he really is when he fakes everything... .I used to think, poor guy... he is mentally ill and can't help himself. Now I think, what a jerk! He knows he is mentally ill and uses it to the hilt! He makes me so tired, but not tired enough to let him get away with mistreating me anymore! It's too bad he wanted to cheat on me and get this other girl pregnant while he is still married to me. I know he is not in love and trying to do the right thing. He is already trying to cheat on her... .along with playing games with me sending me nice notes and a picture of the two of us out at a concert to remember the good times... .he is such a game player. It's amazing to me to watch someone who built himself up and could have been having a nice life with nice things... .to go spiraling downward and lose so much. I am not going with him. Why he thinks I should pay for the divorce, I do not understand. But we know these people live in their own reality. Luckily the law is on my side. Thanks for letting me vent.