BPDFamily.com

We've been broken up less than an month and she is back on OKCupid. The last time she talked she said she wasn't ready for anything serious, despite the fact our relationship was serious. Or it was on my end and everything she said was serious except I realize every word out of her mouth was a lie.

When we talked she wanted to fix herself and eventually get back together. Guess not! Another lie.

I'm so hurt. I feel like I was the only one in that relationship.

And as for what I was doing on OKC, I'm new to the city and people use it to find friends too. But I'm getting off that site. Full of nuts.

I thought I was doing better. This feels like such a kick in the teeth. But I should have known. We haven't talked to each other for weeks. The last text I sent her went unanswered. I asked if she had a sweater of mine. She said no. I asked how she was. No reply. Ever.

Guess she isn't one of the ones who comes back and yeah, I should be grateful but my self-esteem has taken a huge hit. The fall from the pedestal is quite far.

Oh, and now she's bisexual!

Lepus,

That seems like a really hard realization that you've come to. It sounds like you were expecting her to work on herself and prepare for another chance at a relationship with you. It sounds like you feel like she has deceived you. I know how you feel... .This is a very confusing disorder that we are dealing with, and it sounds like your wounds are still very fresh. Mine are too, and I only found this forum a few months ago. Many people told me to be gentle on myself, so that's what I say to you. Take it easy on yourself, and take care of yourself. What have you done for yourself lately?

I'm leaving for a month long trip across the country with a friend. Going to go from Chicago to LA and hit a bunch of national parks.

So glad I'm leaving now.

Cannot believe how she played me. Every word out of her mouth was a lie.

Maybe when the next relarjonship crashes and burns too she will finally get help. But she isn't my resoonsibility.

I'm just so hurt today. I'm sure I'll be over it quickly again but what a shock.