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Title: Acquaintance with traits Post by: disorderedsociety on February 07, 2016, 12:35:30 AM I have a long time acquaintance of sorts who I communicate with from time to time, less frequently this last year, who scores somewhat highly on several personality disorder traits according to a test they took lol
There was a notable pattern emerging: they'd end up texting when they were feeling crappy. We'll call them J J: Hey how's it going? DS: Pretty good, just watching a movie. You? J: Just playing cards against humanity. But I'm feeling like I'm being obnoxious, so I figured I should stop talking and just look at my phone for awhile. :/ DS: Enjoy your game :) J: Noo, talk to me! DS: I just think it's kind of weird to be someone you talk to when you feel negatively about yourself J: :0 J: I'm sorry... . DS: Do you see how that might make someone feel? "Break in case of emergency." J: My bad J: I apologize ... . Maybe I'm being petty? Doubt it though! Is this what drawing a boundary is? I'm trying to weed out people who see me as a resource! Title: Re: Acquaintance with traits Post by: Turkish on February 07, 2016, 12:55:38 AM That's a pretty clear boundary that you drew. You certainly have the right to be left alone, but can you see your response at this point delves into triangulation;
Excerpt DS: I just think it's kind of weird to be someone you talk to when you feel negatively about yourself Persecutor/Punitive Parent. Excerpt J: :0 J: I'm sorry... . Victim/child. Excerpt DS: Do you see how that might make someone feel? "Break in case of emergency." Switch to Recuer/Parent. Excerpt J: My bad J: I apologize Victim/Child. What do you think? :) Title: Re: Acquaintance with traits Post by: disorderedsociety on February 07, 2016, 01:01:59 AM That's a pretty clear boundary that you drew. You certainly have the right to be left alone, but can you see your response at this point delves into triangulation; Excerpt DS: I just think it's kind of weird to be someone you talk to when you feel negatively about yourself Persecutor/Punitive Parent. Excerpt J: :0 J: I'm sorry... . Victim/child. Excerpt DS: Do you see how that might make someone feel? "Break in case of emergency." Switch to Recuer/Parent. Excerpt J: My bad J: I apologize Victim/Child. What do you think? :) I knew there was something wrong with it. Thanks for highlighting the roles. I'm not sure what a proper response would have been otherwise. It seems like these roles only get played out with certain people though. Most people I have casual conversation with just provide pretty ordinary interactions. Is it typical that it's replicated with some people and not with others? I thought I'd come so far! Title: Re: Acquaintance with traits Post by: Turkish on February 07, 2016, 01:12:18 AM Seems like you may have been triggered. I get it. I have a low tolerance these days. Nothing wrong with being kind, and there's nothing wrong with respecting your own time and emotions.
After the "Noo, talk to me!" Either no answer/NC (likely to trigger a response due to abandonment). Or, a release with grace, and BIFF (brief, informative, friendly, firm): "Gotta go, have a nice night, and enjoy your game." Toss the ball into her court. If you're not that close to her, no need for validation. Then no response. |