BPDFamily.com

Hello! I have been on and off for several years. I was doing much better... .but I guess you can say I became complacent, taking a bath in denial... .etc. There are things I'm not sure if I came on and wrote about it at all. I have had problems with addiction, b/c legitimate pain pills. Because I already have been medicated for many years, all kinds of tests, all kinds of meds... .I was on 300mg of methadone, I trusted my doctor, then his patients were dying, from misuse of narcotics. So he took me abruptly off, never been so sick. Beggars cant be choosers... .and just trying to survive, lonely(lost my last place of many years, cuz when I was in a coma, my oldest boy trashed my house), had all kinds of kids, drunks, broke everything, I mean everything, drug paraphenelia tore my heart out. This son is my oldest, and I believe he has BPD, for a long time now. I really am vulnerable, in my parents home at 41years old, come on. I even tried being with ex husband before coming here, also antisocial borderline, he's

been on and off with therapy. Left. I had not had any romantic companion , always was too depressed since 2006. My man died then, only now I think I'm ready... .but of course, BPD I attract it... .I just do. I'm very polite, waiting in a line every day you get to know people, and I've tried to be helpful, but with the people that want to be best buds for 2 days, then pouting, and asking me to get ___ I want to do, but am have been able to stay clean... sorry... .I haven't been on here super long time! so it sounds like insanity. I'm just disappointed with myself. I can't wait to see how everyone else is doing!  xoxox---Karmickiss                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Welcome back to the site Karmickiss, so sorry to hear about all you have been through. Don’t beat yourself up over not realising, that’s true of all of us it’s just a matter of degree. Main thing is you’ve had the good sense to focus on your recovery again.