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So I found out why she ran away to another city, she has an older boyfriend there. I told her either she ends the relationship or she goes on back on hormonal birth control. (There was a pregnancy scare after all the drama). She chose to stay in the relationship but be abstinent. We will see how that goes.

In terms of her IEP the schools said that she does not indicate she has a learning disability because of her GPA and her success in math in particular, however they did acknowledge she needed therapy.

I have not heard back from the county after they assessed her even after I made one follow up call.

In addition a therapist came to the school and screened the students for therapy and she participated of her own volition . I talked the therapist on the phone a couple of times but then it turns out that the agency that I used to use is closing their office in our area so now I have to try and find another therapist that accepts my daughter's insurance. Its a nightmare. The affordable health care act has made therapy and DBT unaffordable for me and now it looks like its going to be a problem for my daughter too.

The ironic thing is the therapist who came to my daughter's school said my daughter needed more then school counseling but she might not be able to provide it. In fact she referred me back to the county whom my daughter already had an assessment with!

I am more concerned that my daughter is at risk for ASPD as opposed to BPD but I don't know enough about ASPD to be able to differentiate. To complicate matters even further my former therapist said my daughter may be at risk for NPD! The reason I think my daughter is at risk for ASPD is because my former therapist said my former spouse did have sociopathic traits. My daughter already has a juvenile record: one citation for shoplifting, two citations for running away, an admittance of causing a collision which resulted in her wrist being broken and a phone call from the sheriff about her smoking marijuana out in public. Furthermore she advocates breaking the law like jaywalking, smoking marijuana, was having an underage sex with a teen over 18, and wants a vape pen.

All I know is I am doing the best I can here with the limited resources I have and she seems to have settled down for now.

We can only do our best, work as hard as we can and then let go of the outcome. We cannot control the results but we can control what we do to try and achieve the most optimal results.

I am glad your daughter seemed a bit calmer when you posted this. How is she doing now?

So her school also believes she needs therapy and not just counseling for her drug use, what are the main reasons the school also thinks she needs therapy?

Sorry, I must've not been clear. A therapist that came to the school and screened teens thought my daughter needed therapy. When I took my daughter to the county for an assessment the social worker thought she needed substance abuse counseling, which she doesn't. When I talked to the youth program that was going to offer her substance abuse treatment , I let them know my daughter needed to see a psychologist and not a drug counselor. They understood that and they are going to refer her back to the county for therapy. I hope it works out this time.

She ended her friends with benefits relationship with an older guy  however she told me she wants to get high over midwinter recess. She's also starting to obsess about her weight/figure again, she wants to get rid of her "muffin top". (She's 3lbs below average for her height.) I've said before that my daughter is dancing around the edges of an eating disorder and I talked to the school counselor about that last year regarding her not eating before track practice and then making herself sick.

Its hard for me to tell what's normal teenage behavior and what's something I should be concerned about.

I hope that we get the right referral for therapy soon.