BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,

Intro: After a relationship of almost 3 years and a marriage of 1 year, last october I couldn't hold on any longer and I broke up with my BPD wife. All the insults, the lies, painting me black, the pulling and pushing... .I was broken down and I had to protect myself. To read my whole story, check out my topic here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=287599.0

On topic: The first time we had to go to court was when to decide who gets to live in the house. I won. However the day we faced each other in court was one of the hardest and most intense days of my life. Seeing the woman I married less than a year ago, now my enemy in a court room... .I was totally broken that day and cried liters of tears.

Now, to finalize the divorce, in about 6 weeks we'll have another court session. I've had no contact with her for about 3 months now. I don't want to be in court with the same tension and same intense feelings as I did then. It made me feel horrible. Are there any suggestions/tips anyone can give me, to make the session feel less intense.

Any reply is greatly appreciated.

I'm sure many will chime in to offer useful, more comprehensive strategies... .

I just wanted to say one thing:

Best thing ever that helped me face court was a beta blocker.

Hi Musicmaker1

Have you considered getting drunk as hell before attending the courtroom?

Joke aside, I'm trying to lighten up a little bit the tension.

Well, now serious things.How about this, one or two weeks before, (whatever you feel is necessary) try simply to meditate with some relaxing music. Lie down for half an hour every day, or one hour if possible, and simply listen to some relaxing music. During that time try to think back when you were a child. What were the happiest moments you lived when you were a child? What were the craziest dreams you had when you were a child? Is there any of the dreams you had when you were a child but that you didn't fulfill? If yes, is there any of the dreams that would be possible to fulfill in the future after your court session? Think about the necessary steps to try to fulfill them when the court sessions are over.

Another thing that you can think of, ask yourelf how you see yourself in 5 years time from now on when all these court sessions are over? Do you see yourself alone? In a healthy relationship? Better job? New experiences? New projects? Think about what will it take you now to manage to fulfill some of your near future goals. And try to see the court session as the first step towards a brighter future. Try to see it as a bitter pill to swallow to get better, but that you can't avoid.

Finally, say to yourself that later, when you'll get better you'll have hell of a things to talk about to your friends or your new gf. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Also, if it helps, try to go with a friend. And if not possible, then after the court session, try to have an appointment with some friends of yours and try to focus more on that appointment that comes after the court than the court itself.

I hope this may at least a little bit help you to take some emotional distance from the hell you've been living now.

Don't hesitate to keep us up to date and tell how it went.