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Title: I made a mistake and need advice Post by: cheaptrick on February 11, 2016, 05:23:51 PM After 7 months of NC, I looked at her Facebook page and saw my ex is with somebody new. The strange thing is that I was fine, and didn't even have feelings for her as she was an emotional bully, and severe NPD type, with self confessed NPD traits that her therapist stated that she had. I was lucky to get away from her and I dropped her cold turkey after she for the last time, showed zero empathy for a loss in my family, and even started an argument about FB 2 hours after I buried my mother. I am suddenly depressed and wonder if a NPD/BPD type can brainwash a person, as I cant explain why I am possessed at the thought of her suddenly, and know she is awful for a relationship. She has literally been dumped by every single man she has ever had a relationship with over being so "intense" and self absorbed. I blocked her on Facebook today and her inner circle, but cannot block her business page which keeps popping up. I also un-followed mutual friends and wouldn't see anything about her unless I looked. Why am I suddenly depressed? What was triggered? I had zero contact and felt empowered for once in my life for dropping her over abuse,and suddenly that anxiety of being around her or even missing her kicked in and I have not slept since. I even have some jealousy over her new guy, and cant figure out for the life of me, why I would? Something deeply emotional has hit me like a truck and I need some advice and some sort of idea what just happened to me and how to get over it fast and support on why I am lucky to have gotten away from her. I think my dark thoughts about life is triggered by this and lack of sleep is making me think really dark thoughts, so I am trying to rebound. What would I be thinking this way when she was the worst partner that I can ever imagine being with? NPD enslaved? Need feedback fast , i am fading and heart is feeling a little pain. I wont kill myself or anything, but wth is going on? I cant believe I went fro 100% over her to suddenly anxiety and depression and jealousy etc... Would you block all mutual friend on FB? Deactivate FB? I have a business page so this effects my business because i have to have a personal FB page to manage it. Rescue needed! red-flag
Title: Re: I made a mistake and need advice Post by: Driver on February 11, 2016, 05:52:46 PM Hi cheaptrick,
Sorry you are going through all this. Difficult to give you any other piece of advice than to try to stay away maximum you can from your exBPD. Stay focused on your life and career. Picture yourself in the near future and ask yourself whether you're better off without her or with her. Title: Re: I made a mistake and need advice Post by: Newton on February 11, 2016, 06:14:27 PM cheaptrick... .go easy on yourself... .seasoned senior members backtrack with thoughts/feelings/behaviour... .you know deep down how her 'new life' will play out... .
Perhaps re-read some articles on 'trauma bonds'?... .time spent reading written facts often helped me snap out of destructive feelings and thoughts Title: Re: I made a mistake and need advice Post by: Beacher on February 11, 2016, 06:18:36 PM I blocked my BPD and everyone associated with him.
It is normal to feel depressed and lonely, even when some days you want to echo Braveheart and yell FREEEDOM! This too shall pass, just sucks going through it. My words of advice are " to thine own self be true'. Keep busy and talk with those you love and trust. See a therapist to help you sort your feelings. But stay n/c , you'll be grateful in the end. |