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I'm completely in love with her. We dated for a year, during the relationship I saved her life when she did heroin behind my back and overdosed, went to rehab and now in a sober house and we were madly in love... Over the past month the relationship had been fading... Not hanging out as much still talking regularly. She tells me the weekend before she wants to go hiking the next weekend with me and misses going places with me and I agreed that we should start going out and doing more activities. she was still telling me she loves me and texting me all the time, then one day on a Thursday it just stopped... She cut contact with me until Saturday then finally answers and says "I'll call you after work" so I didn't really think anything of it. Then she says we need to break up this isn't working. I'm not changing my mind I've already made up my mind. She said the relationship was fading and that she didn't feel the same about me anymore... I started to overreact and crying and hung up on her... We had a talk that next Monday and same think just more of my hurt feelings... She cried too but with a cold look on her face. Can anyone explain to me what she's feeling right now? Does someone with this disorder start to miss after cutting contact like this? She said she would like to stay friends but I wanna get her back in my life. I haven't talked to her in 2 and a half weeks and I'm wondering what steps I should take to her her back...

Hello Andrewr93, 

Welcome to bpdfamily, I'm really sorry that you are feeling so hurt. When a relationship breaks down and it is not a mutual decision, and you still have strong feelings for that person it can be very difficult.

There are many people on these boards who will understand your feelings and will have asked questions wanting to know the reasons why the other person left.

What's often so hard to come to terms with is sometimes we are left not knowing why the other person made the choices and decisions they did.

Relationships with pwBPD can be emotionally very intense very early on, dealing with Heroin addiction can be incredibly difficult. People can also change as they move through the process of addiction and recovery and may want to make changes in their lives as they work on staying clean. This may have been going on for your gf.

It does sound like your xgf was clear each time you met together that for her she wanted to end the relationship. I realise that can be incredibly hard to hear, but sometimes a clear decision like this can help you move forward.

Who is there around that knows how what has happened, who is there that you could talk to about how you are feeling?

Are you still thinking about getting back in contact with her?

Come back and let us know how you are.

Hi Andrewr93

I m so sorry this happened to you.

Has she been diagnosed with BPD? It s true that someone with BPD has strong and volatile feelings and that what they feel equals the truth, which might make them express opinions that leaves us completely puzzled.

Have you been in contact since you posted last?

If she s made up her mind there s not a lot you can do to make her change it. I would say don t be clingy, as that seems to set off engulfment fears in many people with BPD.

How are you today?