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Title: Going back to see whether this still has any relevance for pwBPD Post by: Optimister on February 13, 2016, 12:48:53 PM Hello,
After figuring out that my SO is a pwBPD (but I think she's not aware) who keeps flirting with a work colleague and playing the victim to him (about 25 messages a day), I said that this hurt me immensely and asked her to put some distance between her and him. I gave her two days to respond. She responded no. Now I've gone away 5 days ago. Her mum was called a day later and she is helping out now. On Tuesday, I think, I'm going back. I'll find out whether she is ready to put some distance between her and him, but if not, I'm ready to give up this relationship. However, we have two kids (4 and 7 years) and I don't want to leave them with her in case we break up. I'm afraid she will refuse to put distance between her and him. And I fear that she will refuse to leave. What do I do then? Title: Re: Going back to see whether this still has any relevance for pwBPD Post by: Scarlet Phoenix on February 15, 2016, 03:31:59 PM Hi Optimister, I suggest you go on the Legal board and post there as well. Just to be on the safe side in case this doesn t work out. They members there will have some good advice on imminent break-ups involving kids.
You have your boundary, which sounds healthy to me. Blundaries tied to our values are strong. However, they only adress our behavior (I don t want to be in a relationship where my partner ... .) and not our partners ( you can't do ... .). One way of presenting a want or need is using SET or DEARMAN. Are you familiar with those? We could help you work on what to say when you go see her. |