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Title: break up after manipulartion and still he's being manipulated Post by: Hedgeh0g on February 16, 2016, 10:32:05 PM I was best friends for years with a guy who has BPD. In the past when no-one could get through to him and make him see sense I was always the one who could. But when we became lovers and were going to move in together and love for a larger place together(his idea) a so-called 'friend' played us off against each other it turns out this is the 2nd time she's stopped us getting together. He claimed that he wanted us to go back to being friends again but he still shut me out and since he realised she manipulated him it's got worse he's even blocked me on Facebook. He was meant to come over last nite but instead he was out with her and her kids (not his) she uses them to manipulate him. He knows the situation is making my own illnesses worse as I have severe PTSD among other things at one time he would have cared but now it's as if he doesn't care how much he hurts me, he knows at the moment I have a lot to deal with and it's almost as if he delights in making it worse. I do love him very much and even though he's claimed to have feelings for me at the moment I can see no evidence of this. I wrongly assumed that once he realised we had both been manipulated and played off against each other he'd change his mind as he dislikes mind games so I thought finding out he'd been played in order to keep us apart would have made him change his mind but instead it's made him more determined then ever to dig his heels in. I gave him everything I had to give and didn't play games but he threw it back in my face he claims he wants us to be friends like we were before but so far I see no evidence of that
Title: Re: break up after manipulartion and still he's being manipulated Post by: Confused? on February 17, 2016, 10:34:28 AM First I would like to say welcome to the board. I suggest reading a lot of stories and posts by members here. You will understand BPD more and make some sense of all the madness. I could share a story with you.
About 2 years ago my ex started acting strange and pushing me away. Without getting into much detail, she ended up hiding a second relationship from me while never officially breaking up with me. When I found out I was devastated. But like a sucker when things ended I took her back. She told me that he manipulated her into dating him? Wtf. Now coming from a sane persons perspective that sounds completely absurd. No one in the world makes you do anything unless you are literally forced to do so. So she met him, got his number, started seeing him, moved in with him, but he manipulated her to do so. Yea I'm certain. I don't know your whole story but pwBPD use every lie and tactic in the book to get what they want and make themselves look good while doing it. Sorry to hear what you are going through but this isn't a movie. This is real life. I held onto the fantasy and story book romance after she left for a second time but for what? People with BPD are also masters of triangulation. |