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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Beach_Babe on February 21, 2016, 09:30:49 PM



Title: Malignant parents advice needed
Post by: Beach_Babe on February 21, 2016, 09:30:49 PM
I've come to the conclusion both  of my parents are cluster B.  My uncle I suspect is a sociopath, mother a malignant narcissist. Currently I am in need of advice about an ongoing situation:

My aunt, who does not have a personality disorder and has always been like a mother to me, was recently diagnosed and treated for esophageal cancer.   She made my uncle her brother, POA because I live 2000 miles away. I offered to serve in this role and come home, but she insisted on keeping it this way. My uncle obeys the commands of my mother, who hates my aunt and openly wishes her dead.  Mother is angry at the financial help given to me throughout the years. She is also angry my aunt left me more money in her will than my father.   My mother said I would never see another penny from my aunt, and she would make sure there would be nothing left for me when she died.

The surgery went well, however for two months my uncle has kept my aunt institutionalized against her will.  He also refuses to remove her feeding tube against doctors orders. Due to being locked up for two months my aunt is now depressed and psychotic. My uncle's response was to have her sent back to the hospital and tied down to a bed in a psych ward.  He has also used his POA powers to have the phone removed from her room and allows no mail. He also tells her she is a selfish b___ and he will make sure she dies in that nursing home. Currently he is applying for guardianship and one doctor has wrote him a letter she is mentally incompetent (she is not).  I feel sick from this situation and I'm getting nightmares I do not know what to do. I cannot call, visit or bring her home. I also lack the resources to hire a legal team (they have millions) for the court fight. Uncle told me simply to pretend she's dead, because she will be soon. Also that the money was his, and if I try to get in the way he would destroy me. My aunt was like a mother to me and I feel powerless. My aunt is 66... .could this be considered elder abuse in the state of Ohio? My aunt's only crime was needing cancer surgery and she is experiencing elder abuse.


Title: Re: Malignant parents advice needed
Post by: Turkish on February 21, 2016, 10:53:06 PM
BB,

They have elder abuse hotlines, similar to those for DV. You can make an anonymous call to talk to someone. It sounds like the doctors aren't seeing the overall picture.

T


Title: Re: Malignant parents advice needed
Post by: Beach_Babe on February 22, 2016, 12:12:21 AM
Thank you for the advice.

Please someone tell me why people like this deserve empathy?


Title: Re: Malignant parents advice needed
Post by: Turkish on February 22, 2016, 12:19:05 AM
I'm guessing that you're talking about your uncle. Whether he deserves emapthy or not is your choice to make. He's being abusive to your aunt. You may have some power to help her. If I were you, I would do whatever was within your power to rescue the victim. He is who he is.