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Title: How To Go NC From Aggressive Ex Post by: northernlight on February 23, 2016, 07:17:15 PM Can you advise me on how to begin NC? At the moment we are in daily text or phone call contact and meeting up about twice a week which invariably contains some dreadful moments of rage or verbal abusefrom him. For nearly three weeks now I have categorically not responded or engaged to any of his baiting or rages . I've used tools I learnt here about simply saying I see what he means and leaving it at that or saying nothing. He wants to meet on Thursday to celebrate a business thing of his . He has certainly registered change in me and is sending kinder texts than in a long time and sounding v reasonable apart from when he's drunk . Do I simply announce that I will no longer be in contact with him ? That completely terrifies me. I'm very scared of him and his anger. We don't live tog but only a couple of minutes apart with many people and places in common. I suppose I'm vaguely hoping I'll meet someone else v quickly which will give me strength to detach!
Mod note: These posts were split from https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=290723.0 Title: How To Go NC From Aggressive Ex Post by: Turkish on February 24, 2016, 09:18:21 PM Can you advise me on how to begin NC? At the moment we are in daily text or phone call contact and meeting up about twice a week which invariably contains some dreadful moments of rage or verbal abusefrom him. For nearly three weeks now I have categorically not responded or engaged to any of his baiting or rages . I've used tools I learnt here about simply saying I see what he means and leaving it at that or saying nothing. He wants to meet on Thursday to celebrate a business thing of his . He has certainly registered change in me and is sending kinder texts than in a long time and sounding v reasonable apart from when he's drunk . Do I simply announce that I will no longer be in contact with him ? That completely terrifies me. I'm very scared of him and his anger. We don't live tog but only a couple of minutes apart with many people and places in common. I suppose I'm vaguely hoping I'll meet someone else v quickly which will give me strength to detach! Do you have a safety plan, and are others aware of this? If you're isolated or feel alone, I can understand your trepidation in ending contact. Hard NC may trigger escalation. Is it just the fear of his anger that's keeping you talking and meeting? Title: Re: How To Go NC From Aggressive Ex Post by: hurting300 on February 25, 2016, 05:03:44 AM Turkish is right. Hard No contact or ghosting would do more harm than good. You do need to stay safe that's key. My suggestion would be to end the relationship by email or text. At least then he won't be tracking you down as bad.
Title: Re: How To Go NC From Aggressive Ex Post by: Isa_lala on February 25, 2016, 10:21:37 AM Northernlight, what is the frequency of your contacts? Are they by phone, text message, in person?
Would you be comfortable using some suggestions that you can have on this board, meaning pretending that you are depressed, seem very bored and boring each time you have contact with him so he could loose his interest for you? At what point are you in the relationship? Are you still officially BF and GF? |