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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: rarsweet on February 28, 2016, 08:50:53 PM



Title: article I read
Post by: rarsweet on February 28, 2016, 08:50:53 PM
www.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/fcre.12201/full


Title: Re: article I read
Post by: LilMe on February 29, 2016, 06:34:57 AM
Interesting article.  I think anyone who deals with custody and mental health accusations and problems realizes how hard it is to determine the truth.  :)uring my first divorce my lawyer told me that the legal system figures that half of what each party says are lies and exaggeration    For those of us that try our best to be honest, this is not good!

I have been researching and planning like crazy for my two custody fights coming up.  It seems to me that the focus should be on actual behaviors and documentation of such and what the accused parent is doing to deal with the behaviors.  Not so much diagnosis, although an actual diagnosis would fall into the 'documented behaviors' category.  Sounds logical on paper, right?  I guess I will find out if my strategy works or not  :'(

One other comment, specifically about the article.  As I read their example of the depressed woman, I wished they would have used different example.  It is very common for a person who is abused by their spouse (verbal, mental, physical, sexual, whatever) to be depressed and suffering mentally and look like the crazy one.

Bottom line is we need to somehow educate our children/teens and anyone involved with children and custody issues about PD's and mental health issues.


Title: Re: article I read
Post by: ForeverDad on February 29, 2016, 12:27:35 PM
Excerpt
www.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/fcre.12201/full

a mother's diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder (excessive daily worrying) can be considered a signal for the evaluator to zoom in on the parent's ability to shield the child from her personal anxiety. A parent with active posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms may be so hypervigilant that they attempt to protect their child in ways that inhibit the normal development of autonomy or independence.

This was a close match to my Ex's issues.  She didn't shield our child from her extreme and erratic behaviors and her hypervigilance eventually made her make allegations about me.

Excerpt
If an evaluator is going to recommend to the court that it is in the children's best interests to significantly limit or monitor a parent's access to the children and/or authority, then there should be clear and compelling evidence. In all likelihood, the mere presence of a mental health disorder is insufficient. A mental health diagnosis, even if severe and unmanaged, should be contextualized along with other parental factors including motivation and parenting skills, stresses, and other relevant factors (e.g., a child's vulnerabilities, previous limitations to the parent–child relationship, availability of supports, and availability of and compliance with treatment) when offering such opinions regarding access and decision making.

Courts and the other professionals don't care very much about the mental illness itself, what matters is whether and how much it impacts the children and parenting.

Excerpt
In this vein, a parent's responsiveness to treatment is more important than the diagnosis itself.

This is what you all always hear me repeating from what others have noted... .unless the person makes improvements, the dysfunction, discord and confrontations will continue.  While we can do what we can in our own behaviors, communication skills, etc, it takes two making efforts for a marriage to succeed.