BPDFamily.com

Feeling lost may have BPD

Just recently found out I may have BPD and it does make sense of my whole life and it scares me many of my relationships have failed and now I know why and I'm scared of my life and being judged by my boyfriend I'm lost and don't want to lose him please help I love him

Hi Heather, and welcome to the family.

It seems great here (although I have only been around a few days), with so many caring people who all do their best to offer advice and support one another.

I guess you could start by looking at the link on the first page "Is it Borderline Personality Disorder?"

I have been lucky enough ( lol) to have had two relationships with BPD GFs. And although I am no expert, from what I have seen, it would seem totally out of character for a pwBPD to put their hand up and say "I think I have BPD".

On the contrary, (in my experience) the rages and anger that are common among pwBPD are based on a sense that there is nothing wrong with them and that it is everyone else who is at fault. Additionally, the 'splitting' which is another common and naive defense mechanism for pwBPD seems like it is not possible to self-diagnose. After all, if you had the insight to examine yourself and say "yes, I have these behaviours" then you probably wouldn't exhibit these behaviours in the first place, you would have done something about them long ago. Thus (IMHO), people with BPD do not know or find it very difficult to accept that they behave in certain ways which are often characteristic of BPD.

But perhaps others on here have a different view, BPD is not a simple thing to diagnose and there are many different clusters.

Regardless of whether you have BPD or not, the important thing is to stay safe and reach out for help if the sense of loss is becoming to overwhelming.

Hello Heather,

It is a brave and scary thing to reach out for help, so glad you did.

Have you been to counselor or therapist to talk about your struggles and why you think you may suffer from this disorder?

I encourage you to do so.  We can all benefit from some guided professional help.

This site is not set up to help people who have BPD.  It is for the loved ones of someone who suffers from BPD so we are not the best resource for you.

Here are some links to resources best suited to help you if you do suffer from this illness or traits of this illness:

www.bpdresources.net

We wish you all the best in your quest for answers and wellness.

lbjnltx

Glad you here and getting support.  With insight and motivation, people really can change themselves and their relationships, seems like you are stepping onto that road.  My biggest recommendation is to find a way to get good therapy with someone who has expertise in BPD.  This board is really, really helpful!  My best wishes to you!