|
Title: She still hasn't moved out... Post by: lost_in_translation on March 07, 2016, 06:48:20 AM And yesterday I get this text... .
"I'm gonna start looking and dating other people to solidify our breakup until I move out. " What the heck? She makes me the crazy one sometimes. Title: Re: She still hasn't moved out... Post by: mm1024 on March 07, 2016, 01:38:48 PM I am so sorry you are going through this. Are you married? Depending upon where you live, even if you are separated legally, dating would be considered adultery.
What she is doing to you my stbxBPDh did the same thing to me, and had to be court ordered to move out of our home because of the abusiveness (verbal and at the end physically). I think that they do this because they are hanging on to us, and even though they are having relationships with other people, they a afraid to leave us because if it doesn't work with the next one, they still have us to come back to, at least that is what they think in their minds. Everything I have read illustrates this. My BPDh was shocked that I filed for divorce after he had given myself and the kids the silent treatment for almost 5 months, and any time he talked to me it was to blame me for something/anything, this too after he screamed HE wanted a divorce... . Stay strong! Title: Re: She still hasn't moved out... Post by: lost_in_translation on March 07, 2016, 07:20:22 PM Thank you, MM.
We are not married. She keeps asking for more time to find a place to live because she doesn't want to or can't go back to her parents house and I keep giving in. She will be on her best behavior for a week or so after I agree to give her more time and then we have another argument and she threatens to leave. I say go ahead, leave. She packs her stuff into garbage bags, moves them into her trunk and two days later they are back in the house. I want it to be known, that I know I am a big part of the problem. I recognize that. I allow this to continue. It's been going on for years. The only difference now is that when she does leave for a day or two I am at peace and happier without her here. She's chaotic and disruptive and I enjoy calm, especially after a long day at work. I get anxiety just by being in the same room with her. I praise you for having the courage and strength to leave your situation. You had it a lot more difficult being that you had children and a marriage. I should consider myself lucky, cut my losses and never look back. My head hurts every time I attempt to rationalize with her. I have more success rationalizing with my two-year old niece... . |