BPDFamily.com

As mentioned in another post, I have a sibling whom I strongly suspect of BPD.  I was talking to my mom the other day about our family and it seems that her mom exhibited signs of someone with a Cluster B PD.  My grandmother died before I was born, so everything I know about her is second hand.  However, she was apparently very abusive and manipulative.  Disagreeing with her meant facing her wrath (as a kid) or getting the silent treatment from her (as an adult.)  I know from multiple sources that she has done things that ruined my mom's life (I don't want to go into details, but she broke up my mom's engagement without my mom's consent.)

While my mom was one of the most thoughtful, generous and self-sacrificing people you could, my one sibling strongly shows BPD traits, and my other shows more general signs of lack of empathy in general.  In fact, no one in my family seems to be capable of putting themselves in someone else's situation.  I'm starting to worry about one of my nephews as he does not listen to his parents at all and bullies the hell out of his younger brother.  I also strongly suspect that I might have ended up similar to my siblings if not for a major childhood concussion (apparently my personality completely changed afterwards)

Basically, I'm wondering if there's a risk of passing personality disorders to your kids if you know that someone(s) in your family has it.  I could very well just be looking at my entire family with BPD-colored glasses, so to speak, so I'm also trying to be careful. :)

There is some research showing that cluster B personality disorders have moderate to high heritability (essentially, the % chance that traits will be passed on genetically and expressed behaviorally). It's a very limited body of research, though.

In my own experience, my wife is diagnosed with BPD (with several comorbidities, including anxiety and depression). Her father is undiagnosed but demonstrates strong BPD/NPD traits. We suspect something similar in her deceased paternal grandfather. And, we see behavioral traits in our daughter that may be precursors of a personality disorder.

While there is a inborn biogenetic component which can affect one's emotional resiliency, Bowen's Family Systems Theory talks about the multi-general transmission process. This is related to how members within families are either well differentiated, or not so much; rather, enmeshed and dependent.

Background on Differentiation of Self: https://www.thebowencenter.org/theory/eight-concepts/differentiation-of-self/

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Multigenerational Transmission Process

The concept of the multigenerational transmission process describes how small differences in the levels of differentiation between parents and their offspring lead over many generations to marked differences in differentiation among the members of a multi-generational family. The information creating these differences is transmitted across generations through relationships. The transmission occurs on several interconnected levels ranging from the conscious teaching and learning of information to the automatic and unconscious programming of emotional reactions and behaviors. Relationally and genetically transmitted information interact to shape an individual’s “self.”

The highly differentiated people have unusually stable nuclear families and contribute much to society; the poorly differentiated people have chaotic personal lives and depend heavily on others to sustain them. A key implication of the multigenerational concept is that the roots of the most severe human problems as well as of the highest levels of human adaptation are generations deep.

See here (https://www.thebowencenter.org/theory/eight-concepts/multigenerational-transmission-process/) for more.

According to "Stop Walking on Eggshells" there is research that it gets passed on. Maybe it's like incest, a continual cycle of abuse throughout generations. Maybe it isn't. Who knows?

Not sure about the "why", but eW's FOO has it thick.  Grandma was raging and triangulating into her 90s, eW's Mother was the evil witch who built on it, xW's siblings all dysregulated in their own ways (brothers via rage, sister textbook Histrionic and all with suicidal ideation -  red-flag ).

Interesting thing is to see how it morphs via other input - Raging Uncle - brother of xW evil mother - gets genetic input from wife from another tribal line.  They have 3 kids - 2 exhibit BPD/Histronic traits, 3rd is a sweet, kind, caring Doctor (who left home right after HS). 

Go figure. 

Thanks all for the replies.  I guess there's a nature vs nurture aspect that'd be hard to untangle, but I've been thinking about my own family.  My dad died when I was 12, which emotionally scarred everyone in the family, I'm sure.  While my mom is now unable to handle even the slightest bit of stress now, she was a rock growing up, before and after my dad died.  She was nothing but supporting, kind and caring.   I barely remember my dad, but I'm pretty sure he spoiled me and my oldest sibling.  However, he was apparently emotionally cruel to the other sibling (who I suspect of BPD.)  I've talked to my mom about this, and she realized that her mom's abusiveness made her stop questioning others.  She greatly regrets she didn't stick up for my sister now. 

Both siblings are incapable of seeing any other point of view other than their own, and are extremely self-involved.  I keep wondering if I would have ended up like them if not for head trauma at an early age.  All I know is that the thing that separates me from everyone else in my family is my unhealthy levels of introspection and self-awareness.  I purposefully try to be conscious of how my decisions affect others and to avoid making selfish decisions as much as I can so, at the very least, my wife continues to tolerate me. :)

Anyway, I never thought about the possibility of inheritability until very recently.  Thanks again!