BPDFamily.com

 Asking out of curiosity,

once my ex BPD, while watching a movie would take my silence as for "that i am telling her that she is crazy nonverbally" tough i never said anything during the entire film   then asked why she tought that way and she just got up left, came back after a few min asking why I was watching still that movie and started yelling at me lol.

How about yours experiences ?

Would you like to see me later today?

Would you like to try X Restaurant this weekend?

Did you like that movie?

What book are you reading?

How's "whoever"?

Would you like for me to grab lunch for us?

Would you mind grabbing me a water while you're at the store?

And that's not including serious, relationship related questions of course... .

I can relate to the "movie" question as we used to watch movies quite often and quite often she would say ou of the nowhere "stop as i have better things to do" after i said that i didnt like something that she liked

My ex didn't start picking fights like that until the devaluing started.  Then I couldn't say/do anything that didn't result in a fight.  I mean everything devolved into us arguing, even when I wasn't 'arguing' with her.

I'm glad to be out of that mess.

I'm going to take a different approach and tell you what made me mad that my ex used to ask all the time. When watching a movie or tv show she would always say "do you think she's hot?" I would have to spend hours explaining my answer no matter what it was. I got so fed up and used to start asking her everytime a male was on screen "do you think he's hot?" Her answer was always "ewwww he's gross, you are the only good looking guy to me." Three boyfriends later and however many else guys she has in her life I am starting to not believe her answer.

Questions weren't as much of an issue in my relationship (unless that's because I realized early on not to ask questions... .).  But anything related to my feelings would set him off.  Always.

Ha, anything!

I could ask "what are your plans later today?" or "how is your family?" and they would explode on me - seriously. I asked them about their family while out to brunch on my birthday, and I apparently ruined their day, they told me I should know better, and to never ask about their family again. All the while I was sitting there, wondering when life got so out of hand I couldn't ask a partner how their family was.

Of course they had no problem asking me probing questions and digging deep past every answer I gave with no compunction.

I eventually got to the point I stopped asking questions all together.  Then I became "dismissive" and "insensitive" because I "didn't care how she was feeling".  Even though if I did attempt to communicate I was shut down almost instantly.  She blamed me at the end for not "being open enough" with her, even though the truth was she was the one not being open. Of course, I wasn't allowed to disagree with her or question her in any shape, way, or form because then I'd be STed for a few days.

I look back on my time with her bittersweetly.  There were some good times, but there was no way I could've ever had her long term.  The world was just way to different for the two of us.

Now and again I might ask

"do you love me?"

"what do you like about me?"

"Are we good?"

she'd say, I TOLD YOU BEFORE! Never repeat it again she'd insist

and that I was behaving badly

Ha ha ha... .that was very funny. :)

I have had the same experience... .or they would nearly be stumped. What is so hard about that?... .people in Love should have a list of genuine warm things they could just rattle off about the other.