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Title: Is this a good thing? Post by: ProKonig on March 08, 2016, 09:58:57 AM Hey, so my partner just started to bring up a boundary breaking topic again (for the 3rd time this week). I explained it was unacceptable and the frequency of dysregulation is increasing. I said she needs to start seeing her counsellor as soon as possible. To be fair, she can't go at the moment. She's a postgrad student and gets free counselling at university, but it's the holiday period, so it hasn't been possible for over a month.
Anyway, she didn't escalate into dysregulation and push the issue. She just looked sad, picked up her stuff and went back to her apartment (leaving mine). I let her go, she broke a boundary and I think it was logical. I'm not sure what to make of it. She didn't force an argument and she broke contact, which is what I usually have to do due to the increasing intensity of the situation. What do you think, is her action of leaving a good sign or a bad sign? Side note... .I've always been a believer in 'never going to bed angry'... .but it doesn't work so well in a BPD relationship. A lot of the times when she sleeps on her behaviour she tends to vaguely apologise and maybe be super loving the next day. It's rare for there to be a period of extreme 'silent treatment'. Title: Re: Is this a good thing? Post by: Stalwart on March 08, 2016, 01:47:14 PM What is the boundary-breaking topic and why do you feel she is so intense on approaching and discussing this topic my friend? That might help to better understand it. Otherwise it's really difficult to picture if leaving was good or bad for her.
Title: Re: Is this a good thing? Post by: gotbushels on March 08, 2016, 01:52:18 PM I'm curious about your boundary too.
On her leaving: if we have done our part well, not trying to consider signs out of actions is a good idea. |