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Title: Wow Post by: Marbles on March 09, 2016, 10:17:20 AM Up until now I've been operating on the assumption that all my husband's behaviours are due to bouts of depression but some things didn't fit. Even when he wasn't low there would be"episodes" of suddenly not speaking to me. I'd turn myself inside out trying to work out what I just did that brought on this sudden change. Last time it was because he was in the mood for sex but ignoring me so I gave up. Only after I completely lost it and destroyed and wine glass ( and a portion of our laminate flooring in the process) he finally admitted what had bothered him. Apparently he wanted me to do certain things. I'm not psychic ( my life would be much easier if I were). He admits he's crap at communication. I probably am too but I don't expect him to know things he can't possibly know.
He was never close to.his mother and she died after 15 years of him not speaking to her over some perceived wrongdoing. He cut ties with his sister too for the same reason, although got back in touch due to.his mother's funeral. His ex was practically the spawn of Satan and the woman he married in his 20s was "mad as a box of frogs". I seem to vary between " don't care about me at all" and being his very reason for living... Sometimes I feel like I'm living with n Easter Island with only the statues for company. Other times I feel so blessed to be so loved. Wish life were a bit simpler. Sigh. Title: Re: Wow Post by: Chilibean13 on March 10, 2016, 07:38:21 AM Welcome to the board marble. Looking forward to hearing more about your story.
Keep reading and learning. It will help you cope with the stress of living with a pwBPD. Title: Re: Wow Post by: an0ught on March 13, 2016, 05:51:34 AM Hi Marbles,
Up until now I've been operating on the assumption that all my husband's behaviours are due to bouts of depression but some things didn't fit. Even when he wasn't low there would be"episodes" of suddenly not speaking to me. I'd turn myself inside out trying to work out what I just did that brought on this sudden change. Last time it was because he was in the mood for sex but ignoring me so I gave up. Only after I completely lost it and destroyed and wine glass ( and a portion of our laminate flooring in the process) he finally admitted what had bothered him. Apparently he wanted me to do certain things. I'm not psychic ( my life would be much easier if I were). He admits he's crap at communication. I probably am too but I don't expect him to know things he can't possibly know. Communication is really critical in these relationships and the extremes tend to undermine it. You can help him a lot by focusing on non-judgemental and validating communication. Excerpt Wish life were a bit simpler. Sigh. PwBPD tend to drive complexity through their extremes. Once you study the LESSONS and practice validation and boundary skills you may come to the conclusion that behind all this there are simpler drivers at play and you'll get some control back. *welcome*, a0 |