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Title: He alienated me by giving her money Post by: unicorn2014 on March 10, 2016, 04:01:17 PM So my daughter is coming off a run of bad behavior. I've had to call the police twice in the past week because she's gone missing and I almost called them a third time last night before she came home at 1:25am. I realized that when her father gives her cash she acts out. He's not supposed to give her cash. I've told him this and then he said he wanted to reward her for good behavior by taking her rock climbing. The thing is he already blew a date with her to do that as well as something else and she's had enough of him. She doesn't even want to talk to him and he wants me to fix that. I regret telling him not to give her cash as he already knows that, however whenever he does give her cash she acts out. I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel contaminated by him for reaching out to him to tell him not to give her cash. The guy won't even give me his mailing address because he doesn't want child support to find him. His daughter's sick of him because he keeps breaking his word to her, making her not a priority.
--- I should add he's finally taking a parenting class given by the police department because I told him to and now he thinks he can teach me something. I told him he was taking that class so he could get up to par with me, not tell me what to do. I also told him it made no sense for him to be telling her what to do out of one side of his mouth while breaking the law himself out of the other side of his mouth. When I pointed this out to him he said he had to live his life. ---- His hypocrisy doesn't sit well with either one of us, we've both had enough. -- She's 15. Title: Re: He alienated me by giving her money Post by: Thunderstruck on March 11, 2016, 10:14:45 AM Ugh, I'm sorry, that's really frustrating.
Do you think DD will stop breaking curfew if she didn't have the money? Or is she just acting out because of other reasons (maybe upset about dad or the conflict?)? Does DD have a T that she's working with? Do you think that a change to the custody order might be in order? How much support does he owe? There are ways to find his address. Wouldn't he have to provide it for the parenting class? Title: Re: He alienated me by giving her money Post by: unicorn2014 on March 11, 2016, 10:23:04 AM I have full custody and I'm not changing it.
I think money is one reason d15 is acting out. I've been trying to get her into therapy since kindergarten. She has another psychological assessment scheduled for Monday. She missed her's last Friday. I'm getting support after fighting for it for years, he charmed his way out of jail time by working off his community service hours at church but that's another story for another day. I found out by looking at his text messages to her that he wanted to give her an "opportunity" to earn money at the shop he's "working" at. (His quasi girlfriend owns it and she has never taken child support out of his paycheck, he's working under the table as far as I know). I don't think she earned that money, I don't recall her being with him for 5 hours, he just gave it to her. Actually reading his text messages to her last night made my heart sink as he's really delirious with his marijuana induced romanticisms. I'm very sorry I married him and had a child with him because now we and she has to deal with this. All I can say is reading his texts to her I could see so clearly why I got sick of him and it was kind of scary to contemplate still being married to him and having to deal with that insanity. I'm just so glad I was able to divorce him. |