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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: HurtIII on March 18, 2016, 07:43:20 AM



Title: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: HurtIII on March 18, 2016, 07:43:20 AM
Not trying to be a conspiracy theorist, but has anyone started to receive phone calls from unknown or restricted numbers? And when answered, person simply hangs up? Maybe I'm over thinking, but that never used to happen


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: WoundedBibi on March 18, 2016, 07:47:56 AM
Just after the break-up, yes. One at work (checking I was still at the office?) and one on my mobile while I was abroad on holiday.


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: asher2 on March 18, 2016, 08:07:16 AM
I received quite a few of these after our breakup. I'd get calls from odd numbers and when I answered, there wouldn't be anyone on the other end. I'd also get texts from odd numbers that would say things like "Heeyyyy" and when I'd respond with something like, "Who is this?" there would be no reply. Eventually I just stopped answering the unknown calls and stopped replying to the odd texts and they went away.

There is no doubt in my mind it was her. She was probably in a place where she needed to be soothed and any type of a response comforted her.


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: HurtIII on March 18, 2016, 08:18:36 AM
Beginning to believe that it is her but don't want to read too much into it. Not sure if its an attempt to check on me, hear my voice, or another control tactic. Hell, could be bill collector for all I know. Just seems odd to get these type of calls. Been happening over the past few months but don't know if they correlate to break up and reconcile periods. Either way, not answering them. Was just wondering if others had same experience and what their response was


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: Fr4nz on March 18, 2016, 08:47:22 AM
In my case, no. She completely stopped any contact once NC was established. Which is very strange, if you think that at the beginning of our relationship it happened that she made "drunk-calls".

Indeed, this is an interesting aspect: I noticed that she didn't save telephone numbers in her phone as "contacts", except for few persons (e.g., family) close to her in that life's moment.

Maybe this is a trick she uses to prevent drunk-calls, who knows... .


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: HurtIII on March 18, 2016, 09:49:34 AM
Not sure how it would prevent drunk calls, but just something I noticed over our push/pull times. Seems Lil odd... .why would anyone that wanted to contact me restrict his or her number? Even bill collectors/automated services respond when call is answered. Actually makes me think bout another situation. Couldn't spend valentines day with her last year since I had to volunteer at sons school dance. Actually copied and sent the receipt from the school but she still didn't believe it. Actually called the school and spoked to principal to see if I was telling the truth. Why?


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: GreenEyedMonster on March 18, 2016, 02:38:06 PM
I get random calls from a few numbers in Detroit.  They hang up when I pick up, or seem to linger there and listen as long as I let them.  These started right after the breakup and tend to come a couple in a row, say, over a weekend.  My ex doesn't have a Detroit number and doesn't know anyone there as far as I know.  Sometimes I feel paranoid seeing a connection there, but you do have to wonder.


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: JRT on March 18, 2016, 04:13:04 PM
This odd practice seems to be one of the plays for the BPD playbook... .I started to get such calls around this time last year... .they would be from numbers where when you called them back, ordinarily there would be a message that said that they number was not in service... .they were all random and from all over the country... .the mot recent ones were calls that I missed where I called them back only to have the person on the other end insist that they never called me and that their phone has not been used in a day or two! I discovered that there are many versions of free phone apps that are 100% effective in masking phone numbers. Frankly, you can make up whatever number you want!

I was getting as many as 2 or 3 of these every day and sometimes as little as 1 per week. They seemed to know when I was out of the country on vacation as well which is something that can easily be gleaned from my posts on FB. They stopped almost entirely when I filed interrogatories with her attorney as part of the case I filed against her to recover her engagement ring and I have not really received any in a few months.

Like many on this thread, there is little doubt that it was her. But the question is why. Why would someone who broke up with me suddenly and out of nowhere, blocked me from contact, reported me to the police for stalking after a text that I sent to her and had an attorney friend threaten me with a PPO! Why would someone who demonstrated such a high degree of contempt and fear for me be calling me regularly, listen to me for a few seconds and then hang up? I forget where I read it, but someone had speculated that the practice was soothing to them somehow or that it helped them to confirm that we were 'real' (object constancy). 

Its been around a year and a half since mine cut and run just three weeks after she moved in and a week after she insisted that we go and order our wedding rings. While I think that I have a handle on most of what happened and an understanding of the aftermath, this is the component of it that remains a puzzle to me.


Title: Re: Calls from restricted/unknown numbers
Post by: HurtIII on March 18, 2016, 04:37:15 PM
Appreciate the replies... .has just been on the oddities that I noticed recently. May not even be her, but just seems strange that you say you things are over and want nothing to do with me and then I get callsbfrom restricted numbers. Other thing is, she seems to know where I am without me telling her. During our last convo she said so you went to xx for lunch? We are coworkers but just don't understand why all the investigation stuff?