BPDFamily.com

Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: lisazoe on March 18, 2016, 02:27:58 PM



Title: Silence on the battle front...disconcerting
Post by: lisazoe on March 18, 2016, 02:27:58 PM
Hi there

Well it has been nearly 3 mths since my partner told his mum in a not so polite way to go away and he wants nothing to do with her again.  It has been an amazing stress free time but I do find it unusual she has abided by his request!

I guess what I am thinking is that "Is she plotting the next tactic of hers"?

Or maybe she has actually decided to listen to her son for the first time ever.  I find this second scenario hard to believe. 

I'm waiting for either the faked illness of herself or someone else in the family to draw him back home or a psych nurse did tell me another tactic would be to suddenly embrace me and say she wants to have a relationship with me etc just to get her son back but not being actually genuine about it.

So have any of you encountered this... .where they seem to bide by your request for a time and then boom! hit you with something?  Should I expect something to happen? 

We will be moving in a couple of months and she won't know where so at least we can't have any unexpected visits!


Title: Re: Silence on the battle front...disconcerting
Post by: Kwamina on March 20, 2016, 05:27:16 AM
Hi again lisazoe

I still remember your last thread in which you talked about what happend between your partner and his mother. He told her on the phone and later in person when she showed up at your house that he basically had enough of her behavior. You also said how she then went to the grandparents and has also talked to your partner's sister. In those conversations she however didn't mention at all what he had told her and how he's had enough of her behavior. Do you know if she since perhaps has told other people what happened between her and her son?

How do the grandparents and your partner's sister view his mom? Do they also see her as disordered? What kind of relationship do they have with your MIL?

I know how she always treats/treated your son as the golden child. It could perhaps be that she's in denial about or ignoring what happened to preserve this image of him as the golden child. Do you think that might be what is going on? I also know from what you've shared before that your MIL has said negative things about you, that likely is also a way for her to preserve this golden child image of her son. Whenever he does something she doesn't like, she doesn't get mad at him but instead blames you.


Title: Re: Silence on the battle front...disconcerting
Post by: lisazoe on March 20, 2016, 07:33:21 PM
I think you are right on all counts there Kwamina!  As far as I am aware she hasn't told anyone about what he said to her that day.  I think it is a form of denial that her golden boy would be like that to her.

We haven't heard anything from anyone about her.  My partner talks to his dad regularly and nothing gets said about her at all.

The only thing we did hear as that when she found out we had bought a new car from my partner's little brother she got really mad at his sister who still lives at home as she knew about it and didn't tell mummy.  So I guess she wants to know everything we do still but the family aren't indulging her which is good.

My partner went and caught up with his other sister last night and his grandparents and if anyone was going to say anything it would be this sister.  However he said no body said anything regarding his mum.  It's like everyone has just put her to the side and don't want to talk about her or anything.

So either she is keeping to herself and not causing any drama or she is and the other's are just ignoring it and getting on with life.

Either way its been very nice not to have any drama's lately.  A shame how it came about but still nice!