BPDFamily.com

I am trying to get my s/oBP to move out.  He says he can't afford to and wants me to divorce or somehow pay him off.  I owned a house before I met him 26 years ago.  We are married 24 years.   The deeds are in my name and I always paid the mortgage.  I got isolated, stopped work, poor health, fears for children's safety and now have no income and will have to find a job (with chronic fatigue issues). the relationship has drained me and my health and I want to get out now.

I know little about the law. I live in the UK

If I make an agreement with him now (and sign by a solicitor) to give him what savings I have from my parents recent death, say £10K for him to leave, would that hold as binding against any later divorce or claim?

If I get a divorce, is the house/assets sorted out with the divorce or do you have to sort it out seperately?

I don't know about the UK, but in the USA initial consultations with attorneys is free.  I divorced my ex, who has BPD, about 6 years ago.  I went to three, both to shop around and to get different ideas about how to get out of the mess I was in.  Some attorneys were helpful and others were not. 

ProfDaddy is right, getting multiple consultations with solicitors in advance is not only wise but very necessary.  While we can't vouch for the legal aspects, a pwBPD (person with BPD, traits or behaviors) is almost surely going to try to get more and more.  Most pwBPD are masters of boundary-crashing, subterfuge, sabotage, distortion, obstruction and delay.

Thinking about Leverage, if an early settlement is possible, make sure you hold on to your Leverage - any agreed payments or at least the last big one - until you have the majority of the important matters locked in.  Experience has taught us to expect problems especially when things are calm or we think the worst is behind us.