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Title: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: empathic on April 04, 2016, 03:19:28 AM My first topic on this board. I've written about my decision to separate on the undecided board here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=292144.0
This morning my wife sent me a long text message, stating that: She loves me and knows she hasn't done anything to show it She is ready to make big changes in her mood and attitude We are very different but can find common ground She wants to continue with our fine family (we have two kids 12 and 10) Ending it with "Your best friend" She sent me some other texts about practical stuff that I responded to... .but how do I even respond to this one? If I don't she'll no doubt call me on it later. Should I just ignore it? Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: blackbirdsong on April 04, 2016, 03:52:03 AM Ending it with "Your best friend" This is very narcissistic thing to say... . Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: peace74 on April 04, 2016, 06:17:56 AM Maybe you should tell her you need time to think and process it. If she is anything like my ex by the time you come up with a reply she will change her mind.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really hard to not let feelings and your heart make decisions when they reach out. I still struggle with this daily. Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: empathic on April 04, 2016, 08:51:01 AM Maybe you should tell her you need time to think and process it. If she is anything like my ex by the time you come up with a reply she will change her mind. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really hard to not let feelings and your heart make decisions when they reach out. I still struggle with this daily. Thanks. Yes, I don't doubt that she in the moment actually believes all this, but I also know that tomorrow is another day. Can't help but feel a bit irritated also, that she can't respect my decision this time either (but it was not to be expected of course). Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: once removed on April 04, 2016, 11:01:35 AM welcome to the detaching board empathic
for starters, how do you feel about her message? Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: empathic on April 05, 2016, 09:21:18 AM welcome to the detaching board empathic for starters, how do you feel about her message? Thanks for the welcome. To be honest, I feel pretty numb right now. I think I've been through this for too long. I didn't respond, but we talked some more, in what seemed to be a semi-constructive talk about possible living arrangements. She needs to get a lot of help before any decision can be made though. She's not able to care for the kids right now, so I need to cut down on work and do that. Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: empathic on April 05, 2016, 09:24:29 AM Ending it with "Your best friend" This is very narcissistic thing to say... . Yes, she and her family have a strong narcissistic streak. They put themselves in the first spot most of the time. Title: Re: How to respond to recycling attempt? Post by: once removed on April 05, 2016, 10:57:51 AM I didn't respond, but we talked some more, in what seemed to be a semi-constructive talk about possible living arrangements. She needs to get a lot of help before any decision can be made though. She's not able to care for the kids right now, so I need to cut down on work and do that. it makes sense to me that youd feel numb at this point. it sounds like the above is good progress, productive, and the best of a bad situation. it can create the space you need to do some healing and make grounded decisions about what is best for you and your family. |