|
Title: Sharpen your reflective listening skills and improve your relationship Post by: Bpdsupporter on April 06, 2016, 01:05:12 PM If you want to have a better more satisfying relationship with your loved with BPD your really going to have to become a better listener. I use to think I was one already but I began to realize after much research that I needed alot of help. This skill is crucial in dealing with the issues that will arise in our relationship with our BPD loved ones. This video is great... .It's geared towards reflective listening for a child... But if you really think about it the way our BPDs express themselves is often much like how a child expresses their emotions. And our BPDs emotional state isn't developed like those of us who can regulate our emotions normally. Remember this is a mental illness so you have to approach your partner differently becasue of it. The video is 2parts... .part 2 they do some really amazing role-playing! It's fantastic and very insightful! Enjoy!
Peace Reflective listening part 1 https://youtu.be/1uRwwz-b6Zk Reflective listening part 2 https://youtu.be/oG_UlQrFmAY Title: Re: Sharpen your reflective listening skills and improve your relationship Post by: misuniadziubek on April 07, 2016, 10:08:00 AM My brother has autism with developmental issues and watching that first part of that roleplay was like watching all sorts of interactions with him as of late.
It's made me realise that my theory was right. My brother has a lot of emotional dysregulation issues and very few coping skills. Last night he flipped out because Youtube had changed on him and he started yelling and throwing things, scaring my mom. She says that it's probably because he ate something that affects his mood, but all this time I've spent reading up on trauma, emotional dysregulation and validating people made me discount that thought because I don't see him experiencing severe mood changes, just dysregulation. And so, I've been trying to use similar listening skills lately to get him to talk, and I talked him down last night to my mom's amazement. I'm no magician, but this video just explained to me why it worked and why it will probably work in the future. I think maybe some DBT-like methods might actually be really effective for getting him to handle his emotions. Welp. We've been going about it the wrong way for years, apparently. Thank you for the share :) Title: Re: Sharpen your reflective listening skills and improve your relationship Post by: Bpdsupporter on April 07, 2016, 10:31:02 AM Woow! That's so awesome that this helped you with your brother. Reflective listening is such a great skill to have in general. I work in customer service and have to use it often when people are frustrated and upset and it really works. It has really worked tremendously well with my pwBPD. When I really take the time to listen to him I most often find that his frustration has nothing to do with me he really just is dealing with alot of underlying issues that are causing him alot of pain.
Knowing this really helps me remain calm I'm less stressed and better able to support my love as he works through all that pain. It's hard work but the benefits are really amazing. Our relationship has improved so much! I'm glad the video was helpful... .It sure helped me alot! Peace |